𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

I Fucked Up

For a few days we've being hanging out with Jordi it was so fun, and because i missed the few trips we used to have I sometimes went out with Jordi myself, sometimes without Crainer and Joh knowing. The more we hang out with him the Josh gets more jealous looking, i tried to get them both to get along, Jordi seemed ok with Josh and Crainer but Josh never talked to him he just stayed quiet everytime we go out with him. Crainer tried avoiding any drama so sometimes he would ask if we wanted ice cream so we could pretend like nothing happened, we would all just stay quiet most of the time because Crainer and Josh were still trying to get along with Jordi so we could all become friends...it took longer than expected, when we had to go back home, i would always give Jordi a hug just for comfort I guess, but Josh always so overprotective over me sometimes when ever we hanged out with Jordi or he came to visit that I started get like they would never get along so i didn't really care. I went out with Jordi once in a while, one time i went with him alone we watched a sunset together, it was a bit...romantic, but I already knew Jordi wasn't gay so i didn't think about that.

We sat there for a few minutes before midnight or else Crainer or Josh will start worrying about me, I hugged him after we had to go back home, he grabbed my waist, he looked at me with a smile, it was hard not to fall for him because before i fell for Josh, Jordi was my first crush. I didn't know how to feel,

"Jordi...what are you doing you're not",

before I could say anything he kissed me, we kissed for a few minutes then i pushed him away, with my head down,

"what's wrong?"

Jordi asked. I looked away trying to figure out what to say,

"i already know you had a crush on me, before my depression"

He concluded, I looked up at him a bit suprised,

"y-you knew..?"

He smiled and grabbed me by the waist again, I didn't push away because i wanted an explaination, Jordi said,

"I've known for a long time Jelly"

I looked at him a confused

"but...your not gay"

I replied,

"not gay, but Bi"

He said confidently. I guessed that made sense, but I didn't like him..anymore, i wanted to tell him but i didn't want to hurt his feelings, I mean he lost his girlfriend and his dad. So many things were running through my head, i didn't know what to do anymore, that's when i didn't realize.

Josh was staring at us right there and Jordi was still grabbing on to my waist, he didn't look suprised...it was like he knew this was going to happen, Jordi noticed also,

"Josh...!"

He didn't say a thing he just stared at me with his eyes rested and a big gush lf wind the appeared making feel cinematic.

"What's up with you?"

I stared at Jordi and then back at Josh, he was staring at me with this scary look I couldn't even explain,

"Hey are you ok?"

Josh backed away and turned around, I pushed away from Jordi and ran to Josh trying to explain, but he pushed me away, and he had heard the conversation, i didn't know what to do there was no way for me to convince him and let me explain.

"J-josh i can-"

but Jordi cut me,

"I don't understand, Jelly is there something you want to tell me about your friend here?"

I looked back at him very sudden, then I remembered that I haven't told Jordi what happened in the past...because i was so excited to see him again.

"Yea...but maybe he doesn't want to explain it right now..."

It sounded like Josh could hardly talk anymore he was already walking away, I grabbed his hand and tried to apologize in any way i could,

"Josh..please let me explain...see- i-.."

but he then started to get pissed, but he held on to his anger and stopped me,

"You don't have to say anything, all those times I've being there for you...just fucking forget about it..I understand you wanna be with him, I was even thinking about something tomorrow that we could do...but I'll just cut it of my list now..."

I didn't know what to say, i had 2 boys I fell in love with but I don't know who to pick.. Jordi looked confused on what Josh was talking about and he stared at me,

"Jelly...what does he mean by that?"

I was completely stunned, what was i going to do I really needed a solution to all this.

"You know what...I was waiting to confess something to you Jelly but i guess I don't have to anymore...you can stay with you crush"

Josh replied while walking away slowly

"Josh it's not what it looked like i-i di-"

He didn't bare to even look at me he just turned his back and closed his eyes, i thought I could even see a little tear making it's way down his cheek.

"save it..."

he looked back at me then turned his head and walked away, it started to rain...and i already sheaded about a thousand tears and crouching on the ground with my hands over my eyes wishing all of this was just a terrible nightmare. Josh stopped for a minute to say,

"I know it's not your fault but...I knew a piece of shit like you would screw my life up, I regret doing that with you when i was still new, i should have controlled myself"

He walked away leaving me there in the rain soaking wet, I turned around to see if Jordi was still there...he wasn't...I had such a fucked up life i just wanted to start all over again...what the hell is wrong with me everything is almost always my fault, as a sat there in the rain soaking I realized that it's better to to nobody but your only friend loving you, I walked back home with my broken down eyes, and the..hoodie Josh had gave me, A few days had passed and Josh had gone with all his stuff, I locked myself in my room for as long as i could, Crainer waned me to come put he was worried for me because I haven't ate in so long, but i never came out well until we've found Josh again.