𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

(S3) Years and Tears

The night before..

Crainer's POV:

At the end of the 3 continuous minutes, I couldn't help but let Ian in for a bit. He seemed disappointed. Did he get dumped or something..? It's so obvious how much I keep staring at him. I'm also worried about my appearance, It was a rough suprise. The same eery feeling began to dissolve into a much worsening feeling. He wanted to talk to me, didn't he..? If that's your case, why are you being so quiet around me. It's quite disappointing. I felt boredom pass through and shifted my head away after losing a bit of interest in the show I was watching before, I'm surprised he doesn't find it a bit childish.. he's way older than me, too. In fact, is this that sort of situation Jelly keeps getting himself into? Having to start out the introduction.. Jeez.. it is very nerve-racking. It's like feeling ice on your back of your neck.. I tried ignoring it, but it gets harder and harder by the minute. The main goal here is to make things go back to the way it was with me and him, but if he wants to talk.. I guess I can't deny him. I should give it more ti-

"Benjamin."

"Huh!.. yeah?"

"About earlier, were you stressed around me?"

"..not really. I thought it'd be time for you to leave"

"Do you want me to leave?"

Why's that question hitting so deep anyway? I need to restrain myself around him even if it comes down to ignoring him. Thought that's not what I'm aiming for... I want everything to be the way it was again. It's childish, but it's what I've been wanting ever since he declined me. Ever since those years and tears have been over already. I guess telling Jelly about Ian that somehow led Jelly talking about Ian to everyone else had its part there. Ian's still waiting for an answer to his question, infact it looked like he was desperate for an answer. His whole body was turned to me, it made me shiver but I didn't want that to be noticeable, because Ian's still older than me than.. a few years, and it's embarrassing to still act this way in front of him.

"You can stay as long as you want.."

"..are you not feeling anything..?"

But of course I am. You're still facing me with the same face, while I'm trying to hide my anxiety from being so close to you. His shadow backed off me, meaning it's a sign he's sitting regularly again. I didn't calm down either way.. I think my face will end up telling him something.
.

"I wanted to say sorry again for what happened 10 years ago."

"You.. remember?"

"Why wouldn't I. In fact, it's been bugging me ever since you left on your own."

.
.

Wait.. does that mean he's also being weighed down by my proposal? Probably not anymore, right? I mean, at first, his reaction was so genuine and obvious that he was disgusted of me. It might just be an act he's doing right now, and I'm really falling for it..

"But.. you didn't seem to care after i.. yknow"

"I did. I cared a lot about you, Ben. It's just that your confession was sudden, and you were young all those years ago."

I guess.. he's not wrong. I was too naive to think he'd actually say yes to me. It's still disappointing that I'm worrying about it more than I used to before. It wasn't until I met Jelly that I died down about me and Ian's relationship..

"What about you.. Ian?"

"What about me..?"
.

"Have you met anybody yet?"