𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

SIDE Chapt. 6 - Predictions

Now. I make sure the front door will be locked at all times. Our move in wasn't the most passionate idea neither of us ever had but it was still beneficial. At some times of the day, I'd keep thinking about how he's already up in the morning making breakfast. I know I wake up late already but I'd expect him to be the same. It made the place feel so lively.. that I actually wake up to somebody in the same place. It's so much different thinking about Ian in my house instead of Jelly.

No matter how long it's being since Jelly and Josh moved out, I still can't accept how Ian's staying at my place, like personally living here. Meaning... he sold his house just so come live here. I have the nerves to ask him if it's worth it. He doesn't think about it that much and says I shouldn't either. What's happened already happened, but from all my past glances of his apartment. It seemed so much bigger and better than mine and besides.. it was a hot mess when we walked in. That was just a bad first impression of having somebody like him to see where he will be permanently living.

Even on our ride, to my house with all his stuff packed. My mind was regretting the idea of this because of the advantages that could happen in the future. It looked like there was no going back, his face expressions were so happy about the possible outcomes of living together. I hadn't regret it immediately until i actually put my mind into it. The thought of saying something to try and convice him to turn around and forget about the idea.. but I'd regret it even more to see the look on his face. So.. there really was no going back now

1 8 20XX
12:09 AM

After he admitted how early he really wakes up early put me back to the mindset of when he was a deep sleeper. Now that everything has matured, including us, mostly I. It looked like we were living in the opposite of our past.

..I was never able to live around Ian for too long, or I'd be sent back and I'd get so serious about it. Now, it's like it all just happend mysteriously and i even have the thought of regretting it.

I used to never believed the phrase "People never change" in this situation, people is me. It's being a full day since he began being a shadow around my house and it should be something i need to normalize. He suddenly scares me sometimes whenever i doze off randomly, something everybody knows is that i get jumpy really quickly, its a clueless effect I was passed to by Jelly. So, I didn't start it...

Putting all these into words hurt my head. I hate thinking so negatively about something thats already occured and can't be reversed like nothing happened. It's better to accept faith and give up the past, we've alerted everybody else that hes staying over at my place, i didn't think it was as necessary because they knew it would happend sooner or later. Not like Jelly and Josh's that took months to process, maybe because im not dating an assassin thats probably wanted for 5M.. speaking of them, it reminds me of how its only being a day having Ian here and Jelly shoved in at the worse moment. Again. (Jelly X2) i dont think we should get into it again, only inside our room.

I enjoy his teasingly actions though. Something i can(t) admit. Since yesterday, he's died it down a bit. tomorrow, he'll for sure get over it.

It's still morning, and i wanted something told to me. Something that would exclude me from thinking negatively. How.. he was able to recover it, when everything that was supposed to complete his life got crushed by me.. somehow.
.

"Ian.. was it hard having to divorce..?"

"Mh?.. what's with all the questioning these days?"

"Don't gotta tell me, I just wanna know how i was probably a pain for you during that time.."

We were inches away from eachother, then feeling him inch closer to me along with his arms boarding around my waist.

"We don't need to do all this.."

"It's still something I've being wanting to tell you, even when i wanted it erased from my mind. I need somebody else to know about it so it leaves my mind.."

"Is it something you've being keeping?"

"Think of it that way.."

"Ask away then."

We eventually both had questions for each others to answer. Both of us probably don't know how to answer eachothers concerns.

"Are you comfortable with me living here?.. be honest to me."

The tightness between our hug almost loose completly, maybe.. I really haven't being paying attention to Ian's perspective because he mostly thinks about me most of the time. It irritated me that i was to heavy minded to do the same to him..

"Well... I.. didn't wanna say anything to effect your feelings. So i stayed quiet about that."

"How come you make your face so obvious, that it alone is kicking me out as soon as I walk in? Is that some talent of yours?"

"I didn't want to make you feel that way.."

Rotating my back intensely to him until our faces were inches away. I once again.. jumped out of my conclusions..

"At.. first, I was really convinced by you to move in with me.. impressed by your idea and all.. but.. then i got worried.."

"I found out just from the faces you make when i show up."

Frowning and beginning to shuffle all the random thoughts that popped into my head building up and building itself higher into overthinking about the present.. he just moved in a day ago, so just why can't I be reasonable enough to normalize him being here already..

"I just need to get used to it.. yknow.. it was all screwed up the second we entered.. so.."

Even, this alone. Is an embarrassing impression towards Ian. Even my first suggestion was I should treat him like Jelly, just a.. roomate. To what thats concluded, it's a garbage type thought..

"I told you not to worry so much about that. The presence of our house doesn't matter.."

"It's being a day.."

"Still.. my choice was determined by yours. You agreed.. so, you're really going to back out now and don't think about how we can build our lives..?"

I scurry and blush at his response. But if i spewed anything else out... what would it accomplish..?

"I still got mixed feelings about all it honestly. I mean having to share all this.. with you Ian.. makes me feel hot in the stomach.."

"What do you mean?"

"..I'm not sure myself, I thought it would only be a one time thing. I just wanna know if you really want to live with me.. you were excited at first. But what.. if later on in the nearer future.. i get bothersome and a bit clingy.. and-.."

I got pushed by tension in between his arms. The hug that was suddenly loosened earlier ended up knotting itself, until it was impossible to let go.. so all i had to do was bury myself into it.

"Don't think that way. How could you ever be a bother to me? And so what if your clingy..? I'd love if you were."

"Huh-? How.. do you know I can't be a bother to you..?"

"Because, I've known you and still know you today.. I see you like nobody else."

"What.. about-"

"My ex-wife. Why would she matter right now?"

As if he could predict my mind. I shivered feeling envy to her being able to marry him.. what a stupid thing to say..

"I'm not exactly sure..."

"What? Wanna take her place?.."

. . . "N-no..."

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Next deadline: Dec 10th

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