𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

(S2) Touch...

I felt like regretting my words, but I didn't have time to bite my tongue, unfortunately.. my fists were clenching, and I let my teeth grit. The figure in front of me made me too scared to speak my thoughts. I was hoping there was no reaction to my response, but he seemed in ease... his eyes were facing behind him. If I didn't do anything quickly, what would happen..? Would I just lay it off as if nothing happened.. no. That can't be the case. He's been eyeing me ever since I started talking, I've been eyeing him as well just because I don't want to keep myself down just because of this happening again. I wanted a legitimate answer. Everything was going on earlier, wasn't it.. or maybe I just shouldn't have brought that up. I finally felt excited with him after so long, but this was such an unexpected thing to spew out all of a sudden.

"Why do you keep holding back..?"

I said again, just so he knows I actually asked him. Though I was overthinking what I said and thought it was unnecessary to ask him, this out of the blue, I still wanted an answer. If he wants to do it, then.. then I'm not stopping him. I mean.. he said sorry and concluded we should keep going after he just... pulled me close like that. It just seems wrong in my books. . .

"And still you won't say anything... if you've been holding back this much all this while, why couldn't you take a hint? I was as well. "

"Jelly.."

"We both know if we keep on keeping our distance from each other, it won't get us anywhere."

"Wait.. liste-"

"So what's the point! I don't want the both of us to keep holding back. It just causes trouble - Huh..!"

His hand had reached and gripped onto mine.. and now just looking at it.. his hand seems to be hurt... or as if it's enlarged in size..

"We shouldn't do this here.."

We began moving again, ah.. I was so fed up that I completely forgot that we were out here.. it's public. Dammit, that just had to happen.. I wasn't screaming but arguing again. But realistically, people wouldn't notice us. I felt the pinching coming from the hand he was gripping.. why so hard, though..? It actually hurts. A bruise will form there. Wait. He might be mad because he wouldn't grip my hand so hard like this.. I should've just kept my mouth shut. Damn. Im even cringing out of exhaustion for wasting such a breathe saying all that. All of a sudden, we're in the outside parking lot. in fact, we've already reached Josh's car. At least he's stop gripping...

"Get in."

I just followed his instructions as if he were some commander, his expression, and the way he talks almost weakens me, apparently. I set myself in the same place and way I got here a few hours ago, feeling uneasy and guilty. He closed the door. But why did I hear a slam. . . On the othersiden, he was already in and buckled.. then just realizing

"Buckle up."

I'm not buckled myself because of my own mind dipping in again.. I even began fumbling the buckle, as if I were some kid who's just learning how to buckle a seat belt. It's just because he stares holes into my backside.. or is my buckle just broken!?..

"Do you need help?"

"No- it's just, I just keep fumbling -"

But we both know that i couldn't bring up a exuse, i was actually having trouble bucking a seatbelt. What is this? Is this some sort of other curse that I've been forced into. He wasn't listening to my words, even if he did. . . He actually eventually leaned over, I couldn't help but be hesitant about it. He's just buckling the seatbelt.. I looked away to ignore it, but it seemed like he was already done.. I didn't even realize it. The car started, and I came down from my beating heart. While I was calm, he seemed much more serious. Is it still because of earlier? Dammit, I knew it. I must've offended in some way. Maybe he wasn't even going to kiss me, and I misunderstood it. He must be taking out his anger somehow.. because he's all of a sudden speeding up. Too much as really happened today.. we turned to the alley leading to our hotel. Even the screech of the Jeeps tires were shivering me. It's either that or the weather, maybe both. We exited the car, and Josh strided in front of me.. maybe I was right. What a boomer, though. I didn't expect anything other than just going to sleep awkwardly tonight, but I did have fun. Maybe I should've just acknowledged that more than our earlier fight. Josh turned on the lights, and I began taking off my shoes. I better be aware of this night. He's still poking holes behind me. . . I was already taking off my coat and his sweater. What is he doing just standing behind me. I looked behind and accidentally locked my eyes into his. I turned to face him. He's just staring. It's somewhat giving me the wrong reaction.