𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

SIDE Chapt. 8 - Learn to Dream

For some periods of the day, I'd catch glances of Josh staring at his ring finger with a face of positivity. I'm glad he thought that way about the rings, I obviously am as well.. as if this ring could guard me and Josh's relationship. It connected us in a way that stood with us. The moment i felt it around my finger, my face scrunched, trying to hide tears.. just tears of how desperate I am towards Josh. How i interfere with him, when he acts suspicious in my eyes and I'd instigate right away thinking.. he's seeing somebody else.

It gave back bad memories of when i wss unable to hear his story when we sepreated and how I couldn't make up my mind of if i should bring up everything or just blame him for something so he'd feel guilty of himself.. when it's.. usually me, who ends up having such negative emotions.. it makes me miss him, but not in the way i used to think.

The instigating was one thing, but how come it was such a bother that dreams and vivid mind illusion kept me up all night. Those dreams.. the fantasy. All that commotion that felt like hell when Josh was away. Now, just thinking about those times that i promised myself not to ever think about again, I formed a description on if I was the only person living off monster clones of people you love in your head. Was that just a bad description of Josh as a monster.. or is it just a coincidence of how i used to see Josh at that time. I regret seeing him as a monster...

Makes me wonder how Josh would see me if he had the fantasie dreams... if.. he ever dreamt about me..

"You're in your own little world again,"

Thinking such a thing when we already finished and some hugging aftermath.

"Nah. I can't focus easily anymore. I'm just remembering all the things we've gone through to get to this very moment."

"I mostly worry about it."

"I mean. Remember when i told you about the fantasies that ended up fixing it up somehow?"

"..why? You had another one?"

"No. Just a thought."

I swayed my head around him, almost hitting his chin. I'm pretty excited to ask him what he was thinking of me while we were separated from each other.

"What would you think of me.."

Silence came up in between my excitement.. feeling flushful and imagining how he'd answer in my head..

"..if you also had that problem..?"

"You mean, if I couldn't stop dreaming about you? That already happens, Jelly.."

"No.. not like that, very vivid dreams that you're unable to avoid. Seeing another version of me in a blank no-ending room.. literally every single time you fall asleep.."

"Mh. Well. I can't really find the difference between that and the dreams i have currently."

He stole a peck after. Even though he's trying to be romantic, I'm genuinely curious, and it really wasn't my intention to be..

"No.. wouldn't you be irritated, though.. I certainly was.."

Almost getting picked up and placed, he leaned in to finish his round of kisses. This sign just warns me, but it could also mean many things..

"I'm already dealing with illusions in my head of you and i together.. aren't i?"

"I know.. but it's as if it doesn't sound like a mind-controlling disease.

"I would wish to get that kind of disease then. If that's the benefit."

Hearing that cheesy response made me pick up myself with my eyes barreling around while he followed me with hands still wired around me..