𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

(S2) Alert & Active

I've found myself in the front seat of Josh's fancy jeep, sitting only a feet beside him and since my eyes decided to be selfish i kept glancing, peeking and glaring at him because of my own delusions. Did i really agree to do this? Dammit what the hell have I gotten myself into.. and I'm going with him. I'm so annoyed that i physically can not say his name.. even in my head. Though i really am overreacting, we've done more than just sleep next to each other. What am I so worried about? This probably won't be any different from a month ago. Even in the new atmosphere, i even wonder.. where did Josh sleep last night? Did he really rent his old house again? Hopefully, he did.. Though we'll be staying over at a hotel. I don't even think i should regret my decision... this is for the best, anyway. I mean, finally getting rid of that mosquito fantasy. But who knew this was what I had to do, and finally looking at Josh this way feels so new to me.. right now, I'm still wondering how a month of not seeing each other create such a problem for me..

"Jelly"

"Huh! Yes?.."

"Are you sure you want me to sleep beside you?"

Dammit. I don't know!! Aren't you who came up with the idea, and if you're not gonna sleep next to me, how else are you

"Jelly?"

"Hu- yeah.. it's fine, I don't mind. "

Does he not think anything about this? Am I the only one here thinking that this was too sudden? Now sleeping. Next to him. I should've just not said anything, i told myself that should I just let it go? Or should i let Josh do his thing. This was also his idea and I agreed to his idea, when I was supposed to be the one who was meant to have a simple talk with him and once again, I let my gaurd down and let him get his way with me. At least after today, those fantasies will finally go away... my eyes wondered again to his face and his one, veiny hand gripping the steering wheel. The sky was damp and cloudy because of the weather, so the more I glanced, the more i could only vision Josh as a shadow even though he was right next to me. I just want to wonder what he's wondering, am I glancing too much..? Apparently, I am. After his sharp, fast eyes caught mine in a nanosecond. It even freaked me out so much. I shivered and felt something tickle my spine, of course he'd noticed. Why did I keep staring anyway? Good move, Jelly.

"Are you cold?"

"Mhh.. no, I'm alright. "

"..y, sure?"

"Yeah."

Though.. I am a little chilly, even inside this car. Would it be rude to ask him to turn on the heater?.. you dumbass. Of course, it's rude. I can endure it, but why's this hotel so far.. I mean, maybe it's not far, there is a bit of traffic around. And my eyes and ears are bulging because of all these christmas lights and choruses. After putting up with that for a few minutes, we started reaching areas with big glass buildings and expensive apartments. It's nice that NYC really does get creative every year. The bridges and decorations are so visual in this area. I wonder if we'll ever come across a countdown clock to Christmas day. It might be too early, though..

"Hey.."

"Huh..?"

"Do you wanna go sightseeing? You seem intimidated by those small Christmas light shows"

"Ah.."

"They said they'd be a big one on the day of Christmas Eve."

Why's he telling me all this?... isn't going sightseeing all of a sudden wasting too much time and energy. I don't want to exhaust Josh and myself as well.. is he bringing this up because only me and him usually go sightseeing every year together on the day of Christmas Eve?... it can't be that reason.. can it?