𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

SIDE Chapt. 4 - Favoritism

The thought of having somebody next to me depends on my heart, even when it's somebody who has given you the correct exuses this whole time. It's more exciting when they come back to you, finally overcoming that exuse... that's how I feel.. if I could put it into more explainable words to Ian, so he stops being so insecure about his age...

1 6 20XX
5:21 PM

Nowadays, he wishes both of our hearts weren't so withered because of the past.. so neither of us has to worry about the future. Ian thought the future had passed for him.. until I came along again.. suprisenly, not ruining his life but strengthening it according to what he thought was right. I thought I had no effect on his life whatsoever. That maybe, it's impossible for us to meet again. No matter how close we were in the past.

In the present time. I still feel kinda eery about how quickly we made up. Relationships like this ever happen to me temporarily.. I bet the difference between those and Ian's are millimeters away. Even when we're both insecure about different things, won't this just make the whole thing.. die slowly..?

I have to answer an answer like this in my head when we're already bonding with each other...

"Ben, you seem to focused on other things."

"Not really.. I shouldn't be thinking so deeply about it anyway."

I just shouldn't have brought it up..

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just.. what do you think about our.. relationship?.."

His face rested at my question. I wasn't looking at him, I wasn't even facing him. It's just something I'm aware of when he shifts his fingers around mine like that. Guess.. it's time for another deep talk..

"What about it?"

"Don't you think the way things are going right now are kind of lose..? I mean -"

"Ben. . . Could this be because I'm old?"

"What!? Of course not! I'm also old!"

"Then, if it's about the past. I told you to forget about it and focus on our present life."

"I suppose so.."

"In fact.. I bet our younger selves wouldn't believe it if they saw us here together."

"Haha, I would've been stunned."

"They'd for sure see us as an old couple. Ahh, yes, especially you. who's always wished of becoming older"

Having to hide my chuckles from him again just kept getting difficult.. when he notices I am hiding, he'd always grab and expose me to keep laughing whenever I feel like it. Nowadays, it's gotten so much easier to have a silly talk with him. I'd be developing hiccups by him. It's like a very joyful curse. He stole a blissful moment when I was lost in my own world, being unable to resist, I wanted to proceed with it.. I turned back, waiting for what else could happen.

Yesterday, I kept keeping my eye on our relationship. Can develop since it just started. I guess being an old couple wouldn't be that bad. I wanted to pull back forcefully, but it if I try to much, it feels like get sucked back in.. tingling sensations began building up. It took seconds before we seperated, I tried hiding my reactions by shutting my eyes and blocking my mouth but the level of heat around my cheeks were so obvious..

"I won't lie to you, Ben, but something I've being bringing up in my head is if I'm actually the one for you."

"Now.. you're the one overthinking."

"Yeah.. but I've being thinking rationally about it alot.

"Let's.. not think about it.. "

The hidden smile grew...