𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

Paralysis the Diesease

Those fantasies were.... .. occuring more than..... .. I'd get those same dreams of him... I'm even too scared to sleep at night sometimes, but either way, I can't ignore it.. even though it's only been a few days since he's left... it's almost like whenever in I get a random memory of him, I get the most excruciating headache a few minutes later and possibly pass out or doze off into the fantasy, I've been going outside to waste my time so I have something to think about other than that annoying man of a mosquito that's sucked up all my knowledge. (He's referring to Josh) . . . Honestly, i find that bastard of a fantasy more pervy than real Josh...I'm so sick of it, and... for some reason, I've also been thinking about what it said the other day.

. . .

"You need to start figuring things out on your own."

. . . Siiigh, the words from that asshole fantasy said that day is the reason I haven't spoken up 'bout it, I'll just figure it out myself.. I can figure it out. . . But what if Crainer or Jordi get suspicious of my actions. I might act weird... this shouldn't be so difficult.. we said that we were over each other. . . Well.. that's what i said, so why am I having these stupid fantasies over and over again.. I crawled up like a crushed piece of paper, which is also a gppd description of my head right now, just realizing that I may be cursed now... this is all Josh's doing... I swear the next time I see him, i'll- . . . Let's just see how it'll go.

. . . .

JOSH'S POV:

. . . I wonder what he's thinking right now. He only has the slightest bit of liking to me. What should I do. . . To make it up to him, this oblivious plan didn't lead us any where..I shouldn't have taken this damn risk. All because I was too scared to speak up to him, now I think I might lose him, even if I do.. I'll look everywhere to find him again. He's my belonging.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

". . ."

I didn't listen to my twins voice, but to the voice in my head that had pictured Jelly's face all over. . . Shit, now just thinking about him, I'm staring to revision all those fucked up things I've done to him, thinking he'd stay with me for as long as I live. Such a dumbass. . . . .I pinched my nose and let out a sigh that supposedly came out sounding like a groan. I'm pretty sure Amelia noticed even though her eyes were one with her magazines.

"Jelly loves you, ok? So don't jinx your accusations so much till they become true."

"It's bothering me so fucking much"

"Look, this is your fault that I wasn't able to stay in New York for more than year"

". . . He doesn't give the slightest shit about me, Amelia. "

"You're not even listening.. sigh- look, do you even know how much Jelly's being bringing you up?"

"That was in the past.. in the end, I screwed up. It made him furious around me. "

".. well, there are consequences to your actions, but honestly, I don't know what you did this time. But for all I know. Jelly is the most forgiving person I've ever met. . ."

I lowered both my brows as Amelia's words were taking over.

"So even though, right now, it may be a bit tilted.. everything will maybe work out at the end. "

". . . Are you ok?"

She dropped her magazine until we were both found facing each other.

"You're my older brother, not my enemy, I'm at least trying to make you feel better. Accept it because I had to think last second to say all that"