𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 - A Jelloman Fanfic

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For clarification, it's December here
So it's been 12 years after they separated.

__
The surface of everything around me felt so numb, even when i stick myself into situations like this, just this morning i was trying to find out if you could record how much alcohol can jumble your system. But this whole time, it wasn't the alcohols fault. The person who is the reason I'm doing such a stupid thing won't believe me either. It's chilly. It's snowing, but i couldn't feel any of that. What I'm trying to say is.. my body was boiling, just what could it be..? Even when i ignored we contact to him, he brought me inside immediately after seeing my face sink into a bright red cover. He was rushing as well as if I caught a disease.

I think I really jinxed this day badly. My horoscope gave me a description i, depending on too much, too.

Sagittarius Horoscope-

'Your intuition has been especially high for a while now. Today, you could decide to put it to practical use. You might consider a class or workshop that increases your ability to communicate.'

Reminds me of when Jelly was blabbing over how i actually believe in lucky things like horoscopes, when he doesn't even know his own zodiac depends on his birth month.

I left that side of my head for now and paid more attention to Ian's movements in his kitchen, looking clean. Couldn't relate even when Jelly's already moved out. I looked again and saw Ian leaving his kitchen with a mug. He believes I'm sick. I wore my coat when we went out to the balcony, I was expecting him to get ill with only a thin sweater on. I didn't want to lie anymore either to him so i could get all this unwanted attention.. proceeding to take off the blanket and refuse his mug of hot tea

"I'm not sick... I just felt weird inside.."

".. do you want to go sleep then?"

I shook my head at the question, not wanting to open my mouth because i was scared.

"I just wanna talk to you.."

..because it's time for me to finally ask him if he remembers. I'm sure after everything he remembers from before, he hasn't brought it up. Even moments really close to the time i confessed. Since things don't seem to be going the exact way i wanted to and that the mature act wasn't getting me anywhere after giving it so many chances.. I'll just tell him and see what happens from now on. It's been years.. I'll get over it.

"Yknow Ben, I'm more than happy that we met again."

Even after he admitted he liked seeing me again.
.
.

"I was waiting for you to tell you did."

"Was it obvious?.. I couldn't keep it in for long enough.."

His fingers twitched even. They moved so much I thought he was going to grab my hand again.

"..you can tell me anything, Ben."

One breathe awakened me to say that I'm finally in front of him and about to tell him that we may recreate bad nostalgia. How.. should I even say it..? Dammit.
.

"You're expressing your face so much right now, Ben. I already know what you're going to say."

I was able to keep my cool since I'm too tired to keep reacting to what he says. I'm still as bothered as ever because I'm not really sure if he doesn't remember the words i said to him that evening. This whole time, i was stressing and acting so different around him because of that one reason, the reason that wasn't even confirmed yet. Maybe I'll just try to toy him a little until he spits it out.

"You knowing what I'm about to say makes me not wanna say it anymore."

"That's ok.. but really. I don't care about that. I don't know why you care about it so much... because damage has already been done. "