Miserable | The Marauders

15

Of Age

Jordan-Ella

Remus Lupin and I had an understanding of each other. We understood how it felt to feel ashamed of yourself. To be scared of yourself. We both understood how it felt to be so alone, while being in a room full of people.

I handed the firewhiskey bottle back to Remus. Two days ago he had went through the March full moon. The next day was his birthday, which he spent in the hospital wing. It was now the late minutes of March 10th, and the early minutes of March 11th. My birthday.

Our situations are very different. My pain happened once, while his happens once a month. There is no way to compare the two, but they both still impacted us.

"You know why I hated Sirius so much after the prank?" Remus pondered, as we overlooked the school grounds from the Astronomy tower. "He was scared of me. He was scared to tell me the truth. He was scared of me even in my human form."

I turned to face Remus, expecting tears, but there was nothing. He looked completely immune to the fact that Sirius was once afraid of him. Remus was the bravest person I knew.

Remus handed me the bottle and I took a drink, before speaking. "Evan was scared of me after what I did. He didn't understand how I could have actually done it. He didn't think it would work. You have to mean it when casting an unforgivable, but for me it still worked. I didn't even know what I was saying."

Straightening my posture on the couch, I sat the bottle on the couch. "My parents paid off the ministry and sent me to french classes over that summer. We go back to France a lot now and since then they have instilled in my head that I will never cast an unforgivable, as a mistake, again."

"Who does it to you, Jordan? Who puts Evan and you through all of that pain? I saw Evan's face seeing James point his wand at him, then his face when you stood in front of the wand." Remus asked.

I picked up the bottle, took another drink, then prepared to tell Remus. "Our mother. Our father isn't the best parent, but he's better than our mother. He's never laid a hand on us. She didn't start until Evan and I started talking about muggle-borns and half-bloods. Evan was easily control. I wasn't. I stepped in front of his curses a lot, so he wouldn't get hit."

Remus' face started to show emotion, but not the good kind. His eyes showed sadness. His lips formed a small frown. His shoulders dropped and his breathing slowed down. I felt his arms wrap around me, he cradled me.

The tears forming in my eyes burned. I had cried a lot in my life, but I think this was the first time I actually admitted what my mother had done. I truly don't believe she loved us. She was fulfilling her job a pureblood wife, but hated us so much, she couldn't even try to love us.

I felt a kiss being placed on my head, then Remus' arms grow tighter around me. "You are safe now. You got out of there. If we need too, we will go get Evan and Regulus out as well. No one deserves what you have went through. No one."

"Please, don't say anything." I begged. "I don't want to hear anymore sorries. I'm too tired to hear anymore. I just want to put that part of my life behind me. I won't forget it, because it shaped me into who I am, but I don't want it to control me."

Remus nodded. "Of course. Jordan." He looked at his pocket watch. "It's 12:05. Happy birthday, Jordan-Ella Rosier. You are officially of age."

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"Sirius, might I add that I hate surprises and being blind folded. Worst fears. Being scared and the darkness!" I yelled as Sirius led me to wherever he was taking me.