Miserable | The Marauders

22

He's my mission

3rd Person

Evan tried to control his words around his sister. She had confessed to shagging Sirius, when she came down after he had left. That night, the night of Regulus' 16th birthday, she told Regulus what had happened. Regulus didn't control his words.

"I told you this would happen. It happens to every girl, guy, or those who are non-binary that he shags. He doesn't change. He changed for two months with Remus, before stabbing him in the back as well. My brother doesn't know love." Regulus stated, at his birthday dinner prepared by Kreacher.

After that night, Jordan didn't want to talk about it anymore. Regulus was right, in her mind. Sirius Black could not change and would never love her. She had to see that night as he did. Regret and a mistake.

It was different than her shared night with James. With James, Jordan didn't have regret about shagging him, but it was a mistake for the timing. Right shag, wrong time, as she begun to tell herself.

The month of June faded into July, and Jordan heard from everyone, but Sirius. Lily was over at least once a week and sometimes would bring Marlene with her, so Jordan wouldn't be left alone with Regulus. Remus visited after he recovered from a full moon with Peter. Peter had prepared a gift basket for Jordan because he still felt bad that she did not have her parents anymore.

James didn't visit, but he wrote her a lot. What scared Jordan was that James never mentioned Sirius in his letters. It was like James was avoiding the topic of Sirius. She prayed to Merlin that James didn't know anything.

Now, Jordan stood in the kitchen, preparing a meal for the Order meeting, and reading the letter from Hogwarts. She passed all of her OWLS perfectly and was picked to be Head Girl. Lily received her letter the day before with just her OWLS grades. Lily knew she lost the chance, but was at peace with it. She was happy for Jordan-Ella.

Jordan folded the letter in her hand and put it with Evan and Regulus' Hogwarts letters. She had looked down for two seconds, before she saw James Potter running into her kitchen. Regulus must have let him in, Jordan thought.

James held a letter in his hand while jumping up and down. "Dumbledore picked me to be Head Boy! Can you believe it? I was never even a prefect and now I'm Head Boy! Lily owled me yesterday telling me she didn't get the spot which means you got it! We will be the best Head Girl and Boy Hogwarts has ever seen!"

Looking at the food that was being prepared, James raised his brow. "Who is all the food for? Having a party without me? Jordan-Ella, I thought we decided a party isn't a party without me!"

Jordan felt a smile creep onto her face, as she finished preparing the food. "We have an Order meeting in an hour, James. The food is for the meeting. We get our first mission orders today."

"Oh." James whispered as he sat down at the bar of the kitchen. "I forgot all about that. Padfoot didn't even remind me. He's been on something else recently. Hardly home at night. Don't know what he's doing, though."

Hearing James speak of Sirius, made Jordan drop a plate onto the floor. James stood up from the seat and instantly picking Jordan up and moved her away from the glass. "You don't have shoes on. You could cut your feet. Let me clean it up."

"I'm going to go change and get ready for the meeting. I will send Regulus and Evan down to help you prep the table for everyone." Jordan commented quickly, before racing upstairs to her bedroom. She closed the double door, and fell against it. "Fuck." She muttered.

Jordan stood up and went to her closet to change her clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror and she saw her scars through the side of the dress. Remus' words from before rung in her head and she changed. They were healing, but not completely healed.