Miserable | The Marauders

50

Future Plans

Jordan-Ella

Four weeks had passed since the birth of Harry. James and him were absolute best friends. They were like twins, besides the difference in eye color. James often stole Harry from my arms before his bedtime, so Harry would fall asleep in his arms instead of mine.

I did not allow anyone to meet Harry or check-up on me, until I was out of the hospital. After an hour of Harry being out into the world, everything had finally hit me and the post-partum depression Lyra had enlightened me on, had settled within me. I barely allowed James to see me. I barely wanted to hold Harry.

I love Harry, don't get me wrong, but something about the look in his eyes told me that he knew, deep down, I did not want this. I was not ready and he was not going to make it easy on me. Everytime James had to take him away from me, I had to fight off the instinct of my mother.

James had the chance of growing up with loving parents who showed him the right way to love and raise a child. If the child makes a mess, you calmly teach them what to do when they make a mess and help them. My parents would say "Curcio" and when it was lifted we had to clean it up. I felt that instinct of what I knew, grow in me when Harry would cry, so James had to take him away from me or I walked out of the room.

Sirius and Remus were the first ones to meet Harry. He was about five days old and James and I were two days overdue for a shower, so Sirius and Remus offered to watch him at the Manor, while we took an hour to ourselves.

We finished our hour away from Harry, only to find him and the other two were sitting silently on the couch. He was not crying. Sirius was soothing him, while Remus sat on the couch reading. It was breathtaking.

The only problem was when Sirius looked up at me, while holding Harry, I felt the burn mark sting. I could tell by the look he was fighting on his face, he felt the burn as well. He handed the baby to James and quickly bid his farewell with Remus trailing behind him.

Harry cried the first time he saw Evan. He was two weeks old when Evan and Regulus came to see him for the first time. He cooed when Regulus walked in the room, but when Regulus moved to allow Evan in the room, Harry started to scream and cry.

A week later, Evan tried to hold Harry. He cried again, so Even handed him back to me and promised that he would touch a baby that hates him so much. James and I did not know what to do or how to help Evan and Harry get along.

Due to Evan's experience with Harry, it shocked us when he and Regulus came to James and I about an idea they had. An idea that consisted of their future and children of their own.

"Are the two of you married yet? That's not a problem if you are not, but is that still happening or not?" James asked as he came back from upstairs after putting Harry up for his nap.

I took the kettle off the stove and brought it into the parlor, as I prepared the tea for us all to drink. The boys thanked me for the tea and Evan responded. "We are getting married. The both of us just finished auror school and we wanted to wait until after that. James, you remember how hard auror school was right after getting married."

Regulus took his tea and sipped it. "We hired Marlene to be our event planner and life planner at this point. She brought up topics we had not thought of yet, so she advised us to talk about them. One of them was children. Obviously, neither of us can carry a child, so we asked Marlene for her opinion on what we should do if we wanted a child."

"She advised adoption, but adoption in the wizarding world is limited and adopting a muggle is a hard thing to do because of the different worlds." Evan explained. "So Marlene advised us to find someone to carry our child. One as the biological dad. We thought about it and we have made some decisions, but we cannot make them until you agree, Jordan-Ella."