Miserable | The Marauders

24

A mixture of feelings

Jordan-Ella

Ignoring Sirius Black was a task not many people could do. He was constantly everywhere. Wherever you found yourself, you found him there as well. If he wanted to speak to you, he would, but I wouldn't let him speak to me.

In my mind, he already has his chance to say something. He could have objected to me completing this mission. He could have confessed how he felt that night we shagged, but all he proved to me is that he didn't feel anything to me. He lied while telling me I would not be like all the other people he shagged.

He seemed confident when he saw me at the train station. He put on a confident look that said he didn't care, but deep down I could read him easier than a book. He was dying seeing me with Barty. All three of them were.

That's why James trapped me in the bathroom. That's why Remus didn't speak a word to me even in private. That's why Sirius still followed me around like a lost puppy.

I could feel their stares on me during class. It was the only time they did not see me with Barty. It was their only chance to be near me, but they chose to just look at me. I don't blame them for wanting to look at me, but their stares said enough for me to know how they felt. They were almost miserable.

A perfect example of them looking at me and not paying attention was during potions. As I mixed the potion for Lyra and I, I could feel them three looking at me from behind. Peter made it clear that they were looking at me when he smacked them all and told them to stop looking at me

That's why Peter is my favorite.

"You love what you are doing to them, don't you?" Lyra asked as she stood beside me. "You love the feeling of them being in the littlest pain without you. I think Barty's ways are rubbing off on you, Jordan-Ella." She finished her sentence, while laughing. 

Belle walked up towards us with a smirk on her face. "I think she has more than the boys looking at her with jealously on their faces. Evans and Mckinnon haven't took their eyes off of you either."

I turned to see the two girls looking at me, but both of them holding a different expression on their faces. Marlene looked like she was almost proud of me. Lily had the same look she gave me when Dumbledore told her we would be competing for head girl. Jealousy.

"Still not use to it are you, Jo?" Belle asked. "Listen to me. We are high class Slytherins. Whether we are mean or kind Slytherins they will always find a way to hate us. I think it's time you look at it from that prospective, instead of always trying to prove yourself. Bryce was the kindest of us all and people still hated him for the colors on his school robes."

Lyra spoke up on the matter, which shocked me more than Belle offering advice. "Belle has a point. I'm not trying to defend Snape, but he was bullied by the Marauders from the start without reasoning. Now they both bully each other, but my point is he got bullied for being a Slytherin and being around the girl James Potter fancied. James started a rivalry because of a girl that he eventually didn't even care about because he realized-"

She paused to look over her shoulder. I looked as well, and saw James tightly holding a quill in his hand. "James Potter bullied a Slytherin just to fall in love with one. Sirius Black resented his brother for being a Slytherin just to fall in love with one. Remus, well he was never judgemental, but he eventually fell in love with one as well. I'm not saying they are in love with you because of your house, but they also don't hate you because of you house. They can accept you, so it's time you accept yourself."

Belle walked around the potion table and took her hands into mine. "Look at how far you have come already! You were so upset after fourth year and swore that you would never do magic again. Now, here you are top of the class, you have a amazing relationship with your brother, and not to mention Barty and you make of the hottest couple out of all Hogwarts!"