Miserable | The Marauders

43

July 31st, 1978. The night before the wedding

This is for my loves who never got closure in their breakups, but can hopefully find closure with this chapter.

Third Person

Jordan-Ella had dreamed of the day she would get married. She always dreamed of being free when she got married, but now that it was actually happening she could not believe it. She was allowed to choose who she married. That was always top of her bucket list.

Now, the night before her wedding, she was alone in her childhood bedroom for the last time. Tomorrow she would not be a Rosier anymore and she would not ever sleep in her own bed again. Everything that was hers would turn into James and her's. Everything.

She tossed and turned as she tried to sleep. She told herself it was wedding jitters, but she knew it was not. She was nervous, but not in a good way. She was nervous and scared that her decision could be wrong. She was feeling the little regret her brother always mentioned to her.

Deciding that a glass of warm milk would soothe her, she tossed off her covers and headed to the kitchens. Evan and Regulus were staying at Grimmauld Place while Walburga and Orion were out of town, which left Jordan-Ella alone in the manor. By herself. No one to watch her.

She turned on the stove and began to heat up the milk when there was a crash at the back door. She quickly pulled her wand from her side and held it tightly in her hand. She turned off the stove and grabbed a knife to hold in her other hand. James had shown her too many muggle horror movies for her to trust magic anymore.

Walking to the backdoor, Jordan-Ella did not know how to react when she saw Sirius Black on his flying bike. He pulled the helmet off his head and sat it on the handles. She noticed that his hair was shorter and no longer touched his shoulders. He looked more mature this way.

"Ella, I heard you were home alone tonight. Something was not sitting right with me, so I had to make sure you were okay. I needed peace in knowing you were alright." Sirius spoke softly.

Jordan had never hated Sirius' voice more than this very moment. She settled her peace with Remus. To Jordan, Remus was always going to be her best friend. That was their limit together, but Sirius was different. He was the first boy she ever shagged that was not out of lust, but love.

Stepping away from the door and further into the house, Jordan looked down at her feet. "Well, you have seen that I'm fine. I'm sure James will be the worried one if he wakes up-"

"I'm not staying with James."

Jordan froze and finally met Sirius' eyes. James never told her who was staying with him tonight, but she had always assumed it would be Sirius. His best mate.

Sirius walked closer to the house. "Remus and Peter are with him, but he thought it would be better for me to not be there." Sirius could see the confused look on Jordan's face. "I'm the reason he did not want a best man at the wedding. Not because he could not choose, but because he did not want someone who has been with you to be standing by his side."

"James Potter is marrying me, but I'm the reason he does not have a best man by his side." Jordan whispered to herself.

Sirius was quick to walk closer to Jordan. "Do not blame yourself, Ella. It was his choice after all. Everything has been a choice in our lives for the past two years." Sirius spoke, now realizing that himself.

Jordan backed up from Sirius. "A choice made because of me. The friendship the two of you formed together has a wedge because of me. All because you've seen me in the same way James has. All because Remus and you have kissed me like James has."