𝐍𝐘𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐀 ࿓ 𝙏. 𝙆𝘼𝙈𝘼𝘿𝙊

𝟔𝟖

Shaky breaths escaped your pursed lips as you sat on the cold toilet seat, fear bubbling up inside your gut.

Never would you have thought that this moment would come, taking a pregnancy test.

You were scared.

Some of your mother's friends were teen moms, and their experiences weren't the greatest out there. It's either the dads responsible would leave them - or they'd just completely blame it all on the woman, as if having a child was a curse.

When in fact, having a child is a blessing. It is always a blessing. But the child is unfortunate for not being brought up into a 'blessed' family or 'blessed' environment.

And sure, you knew damn well Tanjiro wouldn't just leave you with his own kid — but who knows?

Maybe he will turn his back on you, leave you in the dust as a young mother with no proper way of taking care of a small human being.

So many what if's were in your head - most of them had no possible right answer. Which worried you, a lot.

What if.. he turns out to be abusive? What if he forces me to abandon my own kid?! What if..—

Tanjiro gently knocks on the door, interrupting your thoughts. "(Y/n)? Are you alright in there...?" his soothing voice helped a lot in calming your nerves.

You gulp down the knot in your throat. "M-Mhm!" you shakily hummed out, not bothering to properly speak. You couldn't find your voice at the moment.

You hear the male let out an understanding hum before hastily walking off. That's when fear piled up in your heart again.

J-Just calm down.. see the results, you're already done.

Listening to your inner voice, you take in deep breaths, now being able to calm down.

Okay..

3!

You inhale sharply.

2!

You shakily close your eyes and bring the test close to your face.

1!...

Without a second thought, you snap open your eyes, vision blurry but you managed to see the results.

...

Which was a negative.

A long sigh of relief left your nose, hands falling to your lap as your entire body eased all its tension.

Definitely going to have nightmares from this..

You gulp from the thought, but decide to just ignore all the negative things going on in your head. After all- being a teen mom wouldn't be ideal.

You just have a couple more months left of your second year- and then your last year.. and then you will graduate and boom. Maybe you will consider having a kid then, but you just didn't even want to think about that for now.

You get dressed and leave the bathroom, showing an anxious Tanjiro your pregnancy test results.

His eyes immediately brightened up, and you didn't know why that offended you.

What if it would have been a positive..? Would he had instead become more anxious? Maybe even break up with me on the spot - god knows.

You swallow down the thoughts. "Okay.. that's good news. Is this the second one?" you nod, letting a tired smile form on your face.

"Yes.. two negatives." you answer, and he sent you a tired smile as well. "Alright.. do you want to just relax now, baby?" all the insecurities and negative thoughts left your entire system when he said those words with just gentleness.

You quickly nod, not being able to help the real smile that formed on your face. "Yes, please." was all you could muster yourself in saying.

He smiled down at you before wrapping you tightly into his arms. He was so warm.. something you weren't used to at all.

You were always such a cold person - winter was your favourite season, and you loved the night. You loved the cold. You loved anything that related to cold and that oddly comforting feeling of freezing temperatures yapping against your skin.

Yet with him..

"C'mon, it's alright.. I got you." you hadn't even realized you were crying as you felt his hands wipe away the tears rolling down your rosy cheeks.

Your eyes widen. "W-Wha.." your voice faded away, he was tilting your chin up so you were face to face. His eyes shone with care.

Your lips trembled as more tears fell down, and you weeped against his chest as he held you close.

So.. this is love?

Such odd feelings erupted in your chest - so many actually, it was overwhelming you. You didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

A loud bang sound emitted from the wall when his fist collided against it, angry tears streaming down his face.

You were making him.. insane.

Yes, he would always be finding himself become obsessed over the simplest things - but he never would have thought he would be obsessed over a person.

It was very unhealthy, but he loved it.

He loved how much his body craved for you, for your smooth skin which he wanted to completely destroy with his lust.

He knew he wasn't in love with you. He was just filled with such lust when it came to you - memories from that night faded his brain. And completely made all his common sense and boundaries fade away as well.

He wasn't the only one - so many guys wanted you as well, but you were just unreachable. Always so obsessed with Tanjiro fucking Kamado, mister goody two shoes.

Never once failing a test, never once treating anyone with disrespect, never once not been perfect.

Fuck how he wishes to completely destroy him.

His eyes glowed with fury - a strong swirl of dark purple. Such a cold shade of purple.. such an unusual colour as well. So mystical. And so mysterious.

"FUCK!" his deep voice cracked as he helplessly fell against the wall, staring at his reflection in the broken mirror that he had taken out his anger on many times.

He hated himself. So fucking bad.

"Why am I like this? Fucking why?!" he sobs out, hands shaking as he pulled on his jet black hair.

He knew why he was like this. He just didn't want to admit it - he couldn't.

He loved you so fucking much - how could he not? You were his escape from shit. You were a personified version of the cigarettes he often smokes. He doesn't give a fuck if it will kill him.. he just wants closure.

He just wants to stop being him. To stop being fucking Genya Shinazugawa.

To stop being so madly in love with someone who will never ever feel the same way, not even close.

He broke down to tears on the floor, blood pumping harshly in his veins.

'He's probably fucking her right now, making her feel so good in ways I never could.'

'Fuck you, Tanjiro. I hope you rot in your perfect life.'

And yet - he could never bare to see you unhappy.

He just has to accept.

Accept the fact you were never meant to be in the first place.