Mr Player//BTS FF

Chapter 84

Jimin was driving to the hospital after he remembered that he has an extra house key on his desk shelf and used it to get out of the apartment in which you had locked him in.

He had sat for hours on his couch staring at this object, until he finally decided that it wouldn't harm anyone if he was to go visit Seon and see her, without her seeing him. Since your biggest argument against him going to the hospital to see Seon was the agitation of the patient, he had thought that if she was to not see him, then everything would be fine. Because of course, he too didn't want to disturb or in general negatively affect her health in any way.

So even though he had agreed with you and had promised that he wouldn't go, ultimately it seems that you knew better than to trust him on the matter, because of his concern for Seon and the need to see her for a while, even from afar, had proved to be greater than him, his logic or his pride.

Lost in thought he continued to drive to the hospital, with feelings of fear but also impatience to see the woman he loved so much, one more time. Although he was hurt by how things had gone down between them, his love for her had not changed. And he surely couldn't help but admit that with all that happened with Jungkook and the development of the events of his relationship with Seon, even though all this had caused pain and chaos to Seon and his brother and everyone else who had been involved, there still existed a hope inside him that had yet to die. Hope for Seon to possibly choose him at least once, even if it was at the very end. He couldn't stop himself from giving her one more chance. 

---change of set---

Seon felt a lump in her throat as Jungkook entered her room, his footsteps sounding louder in her ears than they actually were.

The oxygen around her seemed to run dry just like the strength from her body, shocked and unprepared by his sudden presence.

"J-Jungkook. What are you doing here?" She asked him without even realizing that she had spoken but to own her great surprise, she didn't get a normal answer as anyone would have expected. Instead, before her eyes she saw his tall figure crumbling on his knees on the floor, in front of her bed, his head lowered while his hands were placed on top of his knees, gathered in fists. 

Seon's eyes widened upon seeing this scene and her heart began to tighten with pain and sorrow.

"I don't know what else to do. But I know that whatever it is, it won't be enough to forgive me. It's my fault you're in this room, right now. I am to blame that you're in this situation." Jungkook's voice clearly reflected his vulnerability and how much regret he felt that she had ended up in the hospital.

"I love you... But if my love is destroying you, then I want to kill this love no matter how much it hurts me. I'll bury my heart, my feelings, just tell me how to make this situation right. I'm begging you." His desperate eyes met Seon's as he pleaded for a solution. A solution that could accomplish both tasks of making her happy and taking all the burden and self-hatred off his shoulders.

He was supposed to love this woman in front of him like nothing else, but his love hurt her and brought her to the verge of a nervous and psychological breakdown. What love is this that destroys someone like this? What kind of love is this, which only conforms to his will when from the beginning he himself knew that she did not want him?

In his mind, the fact that he loved her so much used to once justify everything. Whatever extreme acts of his he was to do or his obsession with her, whatever lies and whatever changes he had made in his character and behaviour just to be perfect for her. But now that he saw her in a hospital room, his love no longer had the strength to justify the situation.