My brothers best friend (kellin Quinn x Reader)

Chapter 40

Y/n dads PoV:

I knew as soon as I told y/n she was going to be a mess. It's never easy finding out someone you know took there own life especially when it's a parent.

As soon as she got off the phone I got into my car and started the drive to hers. I didn't want her to be alone and I wanted to give her the note that her mother lift her. I haven't read it yet, I didn't want to it's addressed to Nick and y/n so it's not my business to read.

Even though me and y/n's mother have been separated for years and years it's still hard to see something that you once loved and cared for do something so terrible to themselves. It also made me angry she had two amazing kids, yes Nick wasn't mine but he was always a good kid and there for my little girl when I couldn't be.

For years I was jealous of Nick for being such a father figure in y/n's life but then I realised that I was grateful that he was there and didn't give up on her and was always and I mean always there. I wonder how he was taking all this?.

I pulled up to her house and seen that there where three cars on the drive meaning she wasn't alone, thank god.

I walked up to the door and knocked getting an answer almost immediately. "Hey it's good to see you, can I come in" I said painting a small smile on my face getting one back from the puffy eyed Nick holding the door open for me to walk In. "How are you holding up?" I ask placing my hand on his shoulder making him look down and let a few tears slip from his eyes.

I dropped my smile and pulled Nick into a hug letting him cry into my shoulder. He pulled away and flashed a sad smile wiping his eyes "she's in there" Nick points to the door next to me. I muttered a thanks and walked towards the room.

I opened the door and could hear light sniffing coming from the bed where she was cuddled up in kellin's arms? It looked like him but I couldn't see his face so I couldn't be to sure.

It was kellin. He heard me walking up to him and turned his head to look at me giving me a sad smile and moving away from y/n so I could go and sit by her.

She looked ill and move than tired she was drained. tears came to my eyes just seeing her like this and it made me angry that her mother would put her through this.

"Come here" I sit on the bed pulling my little girl into my arms, no matter how old she gets she will always be my little girl and I will always hate seeing her hurt and upset.

She cried and grabbed hold of me muttering things into my shoulder that I couldn't make out.

"Shhh everything is going to be ok, I'm so sorry" I say rocking her back and forth in my arms holding back the lump in my throat "it's not your fault dad, it's not your fault" she cry's holding onto me even tighter.

She calmed down and decided to get out of bed and move to the living room couch where she sat with her legs up on the couch and her side leaning into Nick who had his arm wrapped around her. Kellin was bringing coffee and water back and forth the living room eventually sitting next to y/n and Nick on the big couch. I was sat on the arm chair just by the side of them.

"Do you two want to read this together?" I asked Nick and y/n handing them the note getting a yes from them both I handed it over and let them read it.

Y/n's pov:

I was shaking as Nick opened up the note for both of us to see. I took in a shaky breath ready to read the terrible things she wrote about me in her death letter.

To
y/n and Nick.

There is so much I want to say to you two I just don't know how, but I will start by saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I put both of you through from when you where little all the way to now I was a shit mother and I really do wish I had tried harder, but I can't change that now.
Secondly don't ever and I mean ever think this is your fault because it isn't! Y/n you stuck with me through thick and thin and I don't know how you did it. Nick you where always there when things went wrong and I don't know why I was a bitch to you and never took much notice of you.
what I'm trying to say is that I was a shit mother but I did love you both so so much I just was so stuck in my own world of drugs, alcohol and discussing men to see that the only ones I needed in life was my two baby's.
I lost you both and i deserve to loss you after everything I have done, but I'm happy now me ending my life is going to put me out of misery and I hope that you can see the good in me leaving.
I will forever and always love you both with all my heart.

Love mom xxx

I was crying but this time not screaming and shouting just quietly crying. She didn't think it was our fault and she did love us and Most of all she was happy now like she said she was out of her misery which made sense her life had become a living misery to her. In the least horrible way I can say it I am happy for her that she is gone now and found peace with herself.

Every day for her was a living hell. She hated the drugs but she couldn't stop and I can see that now but I tried to get her help but she didn't take it.
I did everything I could to help her but she couldn't be helped in a way. sometimes I think what if I end up helpless and nothing could fix me? But I won't because I've promised myself not to get like my mother!