okay so i mentioned yesterday that today i will talk about a normal fear that i have
like yesterdays fears were just stupid little fears
this ones like deep
im afraid that there wont be any of "this"
like you know
wattpad
like i wont be as loved in the near future as i am now
like this whole wattpad thing is amazing
writing this book makes me feel like a daily vlogger without a camera
bc you know, why the fuck would i use a camera?
im ugly af tbh
especiaaally on webcam where theres no good filters
anyways point is
I WANT TO BE SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS HAS AN ONLINE SUPPORT SYSTEM
i am an introvert
but i'd much rather be an extrovert
like whO THE FUCK WANTS TO STAY IN AND READ I WANNA GO OUT AND PARTY WITH FRIENDS
but i have no friends
you guys are my friends!!!
i can just party with you guys!!
like whenever i see in the hallway people talking and theyre all ignoring me i just think
"well, at least when i get on wattpad i have like 3 friends that will talk to me"
just so you guys know, youre allowed to inbox me whenever
i know sometimes i seem like a major bitch, but really i appreciate it when you guys inbox me and are willing to be my friend
just dont be too upset if i dont have the same energy as you do and dont use a bunch of "XD XD" or say things that idk hyper or peppy people say bc really im not like that
but maybe over time if we do become friends i will use exclamation points
what was i talking about
oh yeah, support system
ever since i was ten and had like no friends i had somewhat of an online support system
recently a page i made on facebook when i was 10 got 2 thousand likes/followers/whatever people called it
i had some irl friends help me on it, and i gained my first internet friends on there (who i dont really talk to anymore but i remember their names)
then i went on instagram when i was 11 and i got some followers on that and made some friends
then like all you 12 year olds, i joined wattpad, and almost 2 years later, im still here
in the future, i might leave idk
i had a dream once that i was in college and i had 11k followers on here and i was still friends with rachel and she had 30k followers
maybe that dream will be a reality, idk
also the college i went to was harvard. idk why. i see myself more as a yale person if i ever wanted to go to an ivy league school. i dont really wanna go to ivy league bc thats hard as shit and nyu just seems more fitting for me but you know whatever.
ANYWAYS, IM USED TO SUPPORT THATS OVER THE INTERNET. ITS JUST EASY. ITS LIKE IM HANNAH MONTANA AND i love it
i just like being able to express myself without fear and have people say that they love me, thats all
okay this was really long again, sorry. im not very good at keeping my thoughts concise.
