*heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy if youre reading this then possibly edit or critic it, yeah? tyty. plus u dont have to read it lmao. also a match into water by ptv is in media bc its based on that*
Promises
White walls surrounded me. Compared to them, her skin was much lighter, for being sick and staying indoors drained out her subtle tan color. I looked down at her and she gave me a weak smile. Blankets engulfed her tiny body. She looked as if she was drowning in them.
"May," I said in a soft voice. I wasn't really talking to her, I just wanted to say her name. It was so simple and pretty, and made me reminisce of the spring we met. Floral fragrances wafted around us as we lay on the bright green grass and watched the clouds. It wasn't like the white walls that made both of us feel trapped and hopeless.
May grasped my hand tightly, she has been doing so ever since the beginning of the hour. It pained me greatly to see such an elegant, yet mirthful person strapped to a bed and hooked up to all these machines, waiting for her time to arrive.
“I’m really glad you came, Alex” she croaked and forcefully tried to make her smile wider.
“No, don’t do that to yourself. You’re too weak.”
Her face fell. “I thought you always said my smile was the prettiest thing in the world.” I could tell she was getting irritated, because her voice rose, yet it remained in a raspy whisper.
“It still is the prettiest thing in the world,” I said in a hushed tone to match hers. “I just don’t want you to be in too much pain.”
“I’m fine, really,” she admitted and continued smiling. She really was a fighter, and if she
could, she would continue fighting. But her battle was coming to a close, as her cancer was just
labeled terminal. After a long silence, she finally declared, “I’m still afraid, though.”
I would be afraid, too, knowing that my last moments were being wasted in a hospital. It would be frightening to realize that I’m going to die in that awful, off-white bed that smelled way too sterile.
“If I die now, with you,” I announced. Her eyes widened at me, but I proceeded to speak, “would you still be scared?”
She said to me with a heartbroken tone, “I would be absolutely terrified.” I let out a heavy sigh. "It would be devastating to know that the one person I actually loved stopped living because I did. I wouldn't be at peace if you left."
I couldn't bear it any longer. Seeing her in the supposedly comfortable bed petrified me. Suddenly, a numb feeling spread through my body, and tears were starting to form. I promised myself I wouldn't cry and be weak while she was sitting here remaining strong. She was the one dying of cancer, not me. I didn't have the right to cry.
"I'm so sorry, May," I said, stammering with every word. I began to let go of the tears, like I was breaking down a dam. She started to sob too, and clutched on to me more with her delicate arms. I wiped the salty wetness from my eyes with my sleeves, then cleaned off hers.
"Alex," she said to me while sniffling, "promise me you'll stay. Stay for me."
"I will stay for you." It felt as if a rock hit my chest as I said those words.
May then started to weep more and her breaths began to get very choppy. She pulled me into a tight hug and said between each unstable breath, "Don't. Ever. Leave. Me."
I didn't resist her embrace. However, I was very uneasy feeling her chest rise dramatically with every inhale. Machines screeched like loud sirens, but none of the nurses arrived. I had to call them, even though she kept on repeating so loud that her voice can be heard over the monitors, "Don't let them take me, I'm not ready yet." The tone of her voice scared me, it was a sickly wail, and sounded like a cry for help. It was nothing like the usual softness she had to speak in to refrain from straining herself. Her light body collapsed into my arms. She seemed so fragile, like a lone rose in a patch of grass.
I kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. I really hoped that the spastic outburst was just a mere panic attack, nothing that would have to do with her cancer.
Her drastic breathing patterns continued until a nurse appeared. I had to watch her inject a shot in May's petite body, making her so relaxed that she drifted off to sleep. Then she told me I should leave, because May wouldn't wake up for a while now.
"Wait," I said to the nurse and held up a finger. "One second." I approached May once again, and the nurse didn't cease me from doing so. I bent down to her ear and whispered "I will stay, for you," then kissed her soft cheek. Then I left the room, leaving behind the sterile scent, the horrifying white walls, and my beautiful May.
