I Loved You Before I Met You (New Version)

21

   Kyler takes a drink of water before answering Julia. As she is putting her glass down I quickly say "she doesn't date, or well... do relationships" and roll my eyes. I don't know why that question from Julia irritated me but for some reason it did.

   "Really?" Julia asks as she glances from me to Kyler.

   "I haven't been in a relationship with anyone but for the right person I would be all in." Kyler answers and looks directly at me. Guess she's trying to make me look like an idiot but she literally told me before that she doesn't do relationships. It's quiet for a couple minutes until Julia breaks the silence once again.

   "So you just like to play the field so to speak. Are you a lesbian? I kind of get the vibe that you are."

   Kyler laughs at Julia but stops as I nearly spit out my wine. I sit my wine glass down hard, "Julia, don't even." Kyler narrows her eyes at me and I look right back at her. She finally rolls her eyes and looks away.

   Julia laughs "come on Lauren, she is hot. She's 18 so she's legal, only four years younger than me but she looks older." Kyler smirks and winks at Julia and I cut my eyes to her because I don't want her flirting with Julia.

   Kyler looks at Julia "yes, I'm a lesbian but your sister is the hot one. I mean, just look at her." I shift in my chair and look down at my plate as I feel my face turn red.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. When Julia starts laughing, I slam my wine glass down. "Julia please stop."

   Kyler looks between me and my sister and smirks. "It's okay Lauren, it's all in fun," she says which causes me to roll my eyes at her. I get up from the table and take my plate to the kitchen. Damn Kyler and that smirk.

   As I'm in the kitchen I hear Julia ask "so you just like fooling around Kyler?" Why can't she just shut her mouth. "I've never thought about another girl like that before but I might could be vagiterian if it was someone like you."

   I walk back to the dining table and slam my hand on the table right by Julia "okay, that's enough!" I don't know why I'm jealous of their conversation but I am. Especially when Kyler is sitting there still flirting with Julia.

   Julia looks at me, "it's just all in fun big sis, dang you've turned into a grandma, you need to get laid." She starts laughing but if looks could kill, Julia would be dead with the look I gave her. Julia makes the motion of zipping her lips and rolls her eyes as she picks up her glass of water.

   Kyler sweetly offers to clean the kitchen once we are all finished eating so I can talk to my sister more. I keep smiling at Kyler because I'm annoyed with her and make it known as I just shrug my shoulders and mumble "fine." I grab the bottle of wine and head to the living room where Julia is already waiting.

   Julia watches me as I sit down and pour myself another glass of wine. "What's going on with you Lauren? You know you can talk to me, now what's going on?" I think about it for a minute, trying to decide if I want to tell Julia everything that's going on. Do I want her to know about everything with Mike? Do I want to tell her how I'm feeling around Kyler? Do I tell her the more time Kyler and I spend together and get to know each other, I'm so drawn to her? Do I tell her how happy Kyler makes me just from her presence, a look or simple touch?

   Before I can say anything, Kyle steps into the edge of the living room "goodnight Lauren I'm heading up to my room. It was nice to meet you Julia and goodnight to you also."
Julia says "It was great to meet you too Kyler and goodnight."

   I turn my head and Kyler is already looking at me. I want to stay mad at her for flirting with Julia but it's so hard when she looks at me the way she does. I slightly smile "goodnight Kyler." Her eyes light up and she smiles at me showing off those dang dimples then heads upstairs.
"Mike said he had to go to San Francisco for a client he and Chris were meeting with. Chris came by this afternoon with files for Mike to look over if he got to feeling better. Apparently he told Chris he was home in bed with the flu. I found out that Mike's last two marriages ended from him cheating. I never even knew he had a second wife. I think he is cheating on me too and that's why he's never home." I say to Julia.

   "Damn, I'm sorry sis. So what are you going to do?" Julia asks as she looks at me. I don't have time to answer before she is asking more questions. "Do you know for sure that he's cheating? I thought everything was good between you two. I knew I didn't like him for a reason. Do mom and Dad know? You know dad can't stand that prick."

   I sigh "honestly Jules, I think I made a mistake ever marrying Mike. He is really secretive about everything and thinks he can control everyone. I honestly don't feel like he even loves me and I don't know if he ever did. Maybe I was just a game or conquest for him. Maybe it was just a thrill for him to get a younger woman to fall for his charms. We have not had sex in over four months and he came home late the other night and tried to force himself on me acting like that's what I would want. I'm not even sure if I ever loved him like I should have to get married to him. Or maybe I'm just not in love with him anymore. What makes all this even worse is the connection I feel with..." I let my words drop off because I realized what I was about to admit.

   "Connection with who?" Julia asks. "Are you cheating on Mike too?"

   "It doesn't matter and God no. I would never cheat no matter how unhappy I am. I really think it's... ughh. Never mind, I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I am so tired of this always being on my mind." I hate feeling so stressed and I hate feeling things I don't understand. I had always told myself that I would never just give up on my marriage. I always wanted to try everything and make it work no matter what but I just don't know anymore.

   I offered for Julia to stay here but she had already booked a hotel because she was expecting Mike to be here and she didn't want to stay in the same house as him. My family never cared for him but I never wanted to hear their negative opinions on my husband or even when he was just my boyfriend. Once she leaves, I throw the wine bottle away and wash my wine glass before heading upstairs.

   As I slowly walk up the stairs, I wonder if Kyler is already asleep. I softly knock on her bedroom door but don't hear anything. I quietly open the door and pop my head in to check and see

   I'm startled when I hear Kyler ask "Is something wrong?"