I Loved You Before I Met You (New Version)

33

   I get Kyler some Tylenol and a bottle of water to help her head which she gladly accepts. "I'm so sorry for ignoring you the past week and especially this morning Kyler. I let my own mess get in the way when you needed me." I hate that I wasn't there for Kyler when she needed me. I just needed to get away from Mike that house and my growing feelings for Kyler. Putting myself first though put Kyler in harms way and I should have thought about her and not just myself.

   "Hey, it's okay and I'm okay." Kyler says with a reassuring smile, trying to lighten the mood but I just give her that 'really' look. "So now you know what's going on with me, what has been going on with you?" She finally asks me.

   "It doesn't matter." I say but Kyler still tries to get me to talk about it. I just shake my head no because I don't want to make this weird for her. Especially when it's concerning Mike.

   Kyler moves a little closer to me and puts her hand on my knee "you can talk to me Lauren, I'm here for you. I might not understand everything you're going through but it might help to talk about it."

   I shake my head and close my eyes. "It's not your place to be here for me Kyler. It's not yours or anyone's." I say as I look down.

   Kyler wraps her arms around me and holds me tight and I just relax against her. "If you don't want to talk it's okay. Just let me comfort you. Just let me hold you so you know you're not alone. You always take care of everyone else and it's okay to let someone take care of you." I say.

   It doesn't take long and I break down crying in Kyler's arms. She rubs one hand up and down my arm and strokes my hair with the other. I cry for nearly 10 minutes before finally calming down. Kyler lays down on my bed, taking me with her and I turn onto my side to rest my head on her chest. She holds onto tight with her arm around me and continues to gently stroke my hair with her other hand. I sigh, then whisper "I will tell you everything if you still want to listen."

   "Of course I want to, Lauren. I meant what I said when I told you I was here for you. Nothing you say will ever change that and no matter how many times you try to push me away I am always here for you." Kyler softly assures me and that's all I needed to hear as I tell her everything that happened with Mike.

   Sometime during the night Kyler and I both fell asleep on my bed in the same position we were in while she was comforting me. When I woke up this morning I felt the warmth of her body next to mine and it felt right. I would love to fall asleep and wake up next to her or in her arms every day for the rest of my life. It scares me that I could love someone so much, especially someone that I shouldn't.

   I glance at my phone and it's 5 a.m. Today is Monday which means I would normally get up soon and go to work but not today. I guess the nervousness for today woke me up early this morning. I carefully move out of Kyler's arms, go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. I notice my red, puffy eyes and sigh as I head to the kitchen. I fix a pot of coffee and reflect on the past few weeks as I wait to fix myself a cup.

   I'm sitting at the table drinking coffee when I hear bare feet walking down the hallway. I can't stop the smile on my face when Kyler comes into view. "Good morning Kyler." I say as I subtly take in her appearance.

   Kyler smiles, "good morning Lauren. Did you sleep okay?"

   "Yes, probably the best I've slept in a couple weeks." My words cause Kyler to smile even more but her smile slowly fades as she looks at me. I know she can see my puffy red eyes from crying last night. I know I look awful this morning but for some reason Kyler doesn't take her eyes off of me until I clear my throat.

   I already have an extra mug sitting on the counter so Kyler fixes herself a cup of coffee and joins me at the table. It's silent between us but it isn't awkward. I break the silence first "I have a spare bedroom. You're more than welcome to live here and finish school, or however long you want to stay."

   Kyler seems shocked by my offer. Knowing her, she probably feels like she would be a burden or using me. I want her here even though I have a few concerns. What if Mike finds out? Plus with the feelings I have for her I don't know if it's a good idea.

   "Thank you for the offer Lauren. It means a lot but maybe it would be best if I just go back to Pensacola. I feel like I'd be using you and I don't want to do that. You have your own problems to deal with, you definitely don't need me adding to it and I wouldn't want to get you in any trouble."

   It makes me a little sad that Kyler doesn't want to stay here with me but I can't force her to. "Okay if that's what you really want to do but... maybe think about it before deciding. I promise you if I didn't want you here I would not have offered." I want her here more than she will ever know even though I know it's probably not my best idea.

   Kyler slightly smiles at me showing those... attractive dimples. "Lauren, I would love to stay here with you but you don't owe me anything. I kind of figured you would be happy to not have me around anymore. I have made a mess of your life and destroyed your marriage."

   "Don't ever think that Kyler. I care about you and me not being married to Mike anymore will never change that. I love having you in my life and cannot picture my life without you in it in some way, after all we are friends. You only have four weeks of school left. At least maybe stay and finish school then decide what you want to do. If you go back to Pensacola now you'll have to repeat your senior year since school is finished there. You don't deserve that."

   Kyler sighs and nods her head in understanding because she apparently didn't think about school. "You don't deserve any of this either. I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut. If I would have, you wouldn't be in this situation." She looks down and shakes her head.

   I touch Kyler's knee to get her attention. "Kyler, the truth would have come out eventually. I'm very thankful you couldn't keep your mouth shut for once." I slightly laugh to hopefully ease her worry.

   "I had not even thought about school. That would suck having to repeat my senior year. If you're sure about this then I would love to live here with you Lauren. I just don't want you to get in trouble or anything for me."

   I look at Kyler, "nobody will know you're living here unless you tell them. We can get a P.O. Box for you so you have a different address than mine on everything at the school. I'll take care of everything so don't worry about it. Just please don't tell anyone. Nobody knows about the divorce and I want to keep it like that as long as possible."

   "Why don't you take today off from school to get your clothes and other belongings over here? I have the divorce meeting this morning. Mike wants to hurry and get the divorce finalized and I'm honestly fine with that. As soon as I finish there I can help you while he's at work. If he knows you're moving in with me I know he will cause problems especially for me at the school."

   As soon as I stand up, Kyler does too and pulls me in for a big hug. When I wrap my arms around her, she squeezes a little harder. "Thank you for this and for everything." She whispers by my ear causing goosebumps on my skin.

   I release the hug, "you're welcome. Now I've got to go get ready and I will see you later okay. Just pack everything you can in your suitcases until I get there with my car."

   I am really glad that Kyler accepted my offer to stay with me. It was not right for her to end up repeating senior year by going back to Pensacola. I just hope we have no problems.