I Loved You Before I Met You (New Version)

27

   "Lauren, I'm sorry, okay. It was stupid on my part and I am truly sorry. I know I should never have done that no matter how much I wanted or needed a distraction. I know that's no excuse, I just needed to feel something else even though it wasn't right. Hell, I'm not even attracted to her but I was desperate for the distraction and she seemed to have liked me." Kyler looks at me like she is waiting for my reaction but I try not to show any emotions. I want to stay mad at her because I still can't believe she would do that. I also want her to know how much that hurt me but it's not right for me to do that. I have no right to be hurt over her kissing someone else. So why does it hurt me and why did she need a distraction?

   "A distraction? What are you talking about Kyler? Wanting a distraction from something doesn't mean you stop thinking logically. This really puts me in a bad spot because I know what the right thing to do is considering what I walked in on." I finally look at her. I just hope she doesn't realize that what she did hurt me. I don't need her realizing that I was also jealous that she wasn't kissing me.

   "I was thinking Lauren, that's all I've been doing. All I've been able to think about is you... and it only got worse after Saturday night at the club. You are always on my mind. Then seeing you bent over in the hallway today made it even more intense." I pour myself another glass of wine and take a deep breath before taking a big gulp of wine. I'm scared that after realizing my feelings for Kyler, I will let them show and I don't need to. I need to get a control of my emotions.

   "Kyler, please don't..." but Kyler quickly interrupts me.

   "No, it's true okay, just listen. Please." Kyler begs in a desperate voice.

   "Lauren, I like you and I mean I really like you. I was instantly attracted to you when I met you for the first time. I will admit at first I thought I was attracted to you just because of your looks but I was so wrong. I'm attracted to you for more than that. The attraction actually became more the first day of being here and being around you. You are a beautiful, sexy woman and you seem to not even realize it which makes you even more attractive. Everything about you is sexy and makes you so beautiful and so... desirable and I'm not just talking about your body. You have a beautiful mind, soul and heart. You are so caring and such a beautiful person inside and out. I felt an immediate connection with you when we first met. I still feel that connection and I am just drawn to you."

   I open my mouth to talk but before I can say anything, Kyler keeps going. "I've never felt like this before. I've never had a connection with anyone like I do with you and I think you feel it too. You have no idea what you do to me. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you, it's like I crave you." Kyler says, looking me in my eyes. She reaches out and places her hand on top of mine. "I have fallen for you and I'm not afraid to admit it."

   I look away and quickly wipe my eyes with my other hand. I am feeling so much right now. I have never had anyone be so honest and pour their heart out like that. How can she feel all o that for me when we haven't known each other that long. We haven't dated or anything but Kyler claims she's fallen for me. I guess there's no difference in her falling for me than me falling for her. It literally feels like my heart aches from not being able to be with her. I want to be completely honest with Kyler but I know that's not a good idea, I know I can't be completely honest and say everything I really want to.

   "Kyler, I..." I take a deep breath then release it, to hopefully calm my nerves but I feel another tear escape and slide down my cheek. Kyler gently wipes my tears away and caresses my cheek. This is so hard.

   I feel my emotions crumbling and I feel like I have to at least be partially honest with her. I have to get some of this weight off of my chest. "I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a connection between us, because I do. I've felt it since we first met and it has been really confusing to me especially the more time we spend together and get to know each other. I constantly find myself wanting to be around you and hoping our hands or arms will brush against one another, just for a simple innocent touch. It has been driving me crazy because I've never been attracted to another woman so I don't understand what's going on with me. I don't know what it is about you but..." I take a deep breath then release it, "but regardless of anything I might or might not feel, it... it can't mean anything."

   I finish my glass of wine then continue. "I am currently married and married to you father until the divorce is finalized, you're basically my step daughter for God's sake and I'm also your principal. Even if we were in different circumstances, I'm too old for you and you've said yourself that you don't do relationships. This between us couldn't happen."

   "What do you mean until the divorce is finalized?" Kyler asks.

   "Exactly what I said. Mike is cheating on me and has been for a while apparently and I can't stay with a cheater and a liar any longer. I've taken care of everything that I needed to and I'm giving him the divorce papers when he gets home. I'm not going to tell him about what happened today because that will only make it worse for you and I can't do that to you." I glance at Kyler then look away.

   "Thank you Lauren. I mean it, seriously, thank you for not telling him. Please tell me you didn't fire Ms. Smith because it was my fault. I should have never done that and I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me and not be so disappointed in me. I don't ever want to see that look in your eyes again. I don't want you to hate me to the point you cannot even talk to me or be around me."

   If Kyler only knew, I don't think I could ever hate her no matter what. I can be mad, upset and even jealous but I could never hate her. For some reason, as if on instinct, I take my hand and gently caresses Kyler's cheek. Her skin feels so warm and so soft. She really is beautiful. She leans into my touch and I stop when I realize what I am doing.

~ AN~
I realized that I had published chapter 28 as 27 so now it's fixed. 😔
~ Eden Shay ❤️