fearless

Chapter 42: Gender and a House

Song: Here- Alessia Cara
Two Long, Agonizing months later...
••••

"Push Maddie." Ty chants for me while holding my hand. Pain overwhelms me in my core, making me almost sick to my stomach. "One more push." The midwife says. "One more."

I push as hard as I can, relief following afterward. The only problem is, I don't hear a scream. The midwife looks up.

"I'm so sorry," she takes a breath, handing us the naked baby. "She was stillborn." I caress the baby's cheeks, wondering what she would have looked like if she was alive.

Her face is purple, all of her skin is. Ty stares at me, his face a concoction of hatred and sadness and sympathy. The midwife leaves, taking the baby with her.

"This is all your fault!" Ty shouts. His face contorts, making him look even more upset. "Our baby is stillborn. She never got the chance to see the world!" He yells at me, making me cry. "It's all your fault!"

Hot tears stream down my face, and I can't stop myself from sobbing. Ty should be helping me through this, I'd help him. "Maddie!" He says. "Maddie!"

He slaps me across the face, leaving a stinging spot there. He drops to the ground, screaming. Except when he screams, drops of blood come out of his mouth. He falls face first on the floor, blood surrounding him.

He holds a shiny metal stick, a knife, to his stomach. I break down, rolling off the bed. I feel warmth, and know that it's his blood.

"Maddie!" I hear a voice say, shaking me. I force myself to open my eyes, and see Ty looming over me. I scream. Ty looks overly confused.

He makes me sit up, against him. "You were crying." I look back at him. "I'm sorry." I say. "I'm so sorry. I'm horrible." I feel a tear make its way down my face, leaving a path.

"Why are you sorry?" Ty asks, his voice raising. "You have nothing to be sorry for." I look away from him.

I knew that I'd be an awful mother. I know that I can't give Ty what he wants. I'm a horrible person.

He forces me to look at him. "What happened in that dream?" His eyes are a bright green, glimmering and gleaming in the moonlight that shines through our window.

I finally have a point where I budge, and that is when I see Ty's bright green eyes.

"It was awful," I start. I tell Ty all about my dream. When I finish telling him, he holds me close to his chest, which is bare and hairless. I can feel his toned abs against my side.

"Maddie." He says softly. "That will never happen. We Will have healthy children, who grow up running around and laughing and loving life. And I'll be right beside you, just like I am now."

His lips connect with my neck, and he gently sucks before pulling back, and kissing my temple.

"Now, let's go to sleep, without any bad dreams." He says, laying down. I lay down beside him, and he wraps his arms around me.

I drift off, the love of my life beside me.

>>

I wake up and stretch. My legs are sore from the sex that Ty and I had last night, but I ignore it, like usual. Ty sleeps soundly in bed.

I quickly grab my clothes for today, black and dark grey patterned yoga pants, and a black t-shirt. I also grab some socks.

I decide to just change in the bedroom. He is asleep after all. I slip off my shorts, and replace them with the yoga pants, and slide my socks on.