fearless

Chapter 82: Notable.

Levels- Nick Jonas
Ty

People say loneliness is a killer, and they're not wrong. It's just that sometimes you need time to think, time to decide, time to feel.

I've found that loneliness isn't exactly the killer- it's actually more or less your thoughts. If you spend all of your time and energy thinking about a dream, a relationship, an event- you're going to go insane. It's just facts.

I've let my thoughts tear myself apart before- it's not pretty. It's as if you're dying from the inside out.

There are a few people that keep me sane though. A few people that keep me from slipping away into my thoughts- keep me from being consumed by them. In fact, I'm on my way to pick one of them up right now.

I've just gotten off of my shift, and now I'm crossing into the net corridor, making my way to Ariana and Hunter's, to Hannah.

I see a glowing light ahead of me, and it's so bright that I squint. As I approach it, I realize that it's the hole in the ceiling for the net. I sigh. I remember jumping off of that net six years ago.

"Who's going first?" A man asks. His mocha colored skin pairs well with his many arm tattoos, making him appear gruff. He pops his knuckles, then raises his eyebrows. "I will," says a blue clad girl, and she steps up onto the ledge as the man steps off.

She looks down, then up, and then jumps, her eyes closed tightly. I nearly gasp just watching her fall. It's almost like a death sentence, jumping off this ledge. No one, only Dauntless Borns like myself know what is beneath the dark circle. A net. The net is your only safety in Dauntless.

"Next." The man says, his eyes piercing into mine. I gulp.

"I'll go," I hiss, but then immediately regret it when I step up on the ledge. It's so high up. I let a shaky breath slip past my lips as I close my eyes, imagining that I am a bird. "Hurry up." The man, a leader I presume, groans.

With that, I step off. I feel weightless. I feel free. I gasp, I wave my arms. The ropes slam into my back, and I nearly groan in utter disbelief. I feel myself rolling over, and it's not until I hit the ground that I know I've been pulled out.

"Name?" The woman asks, her lip piercing pulling with every syllable. I look down at the piercing, then up at the woman's eyes.

"Ty." I say surely. "Second jumper- Ty." The woman shouts, and as everyone cheers for me as I step off towards the wall, "This is it." I breathe.

I smile at the memory. I continue to walk, walking toward the staircase near the net. A glowing sign alerts me of the staircase, it's blue lights curved to spell out STAIRS.

I step up the staircase, thinking of Maddie with every step. Step, Maddie walking toward me in her fitting red dress, her eyes a fiery blaze of blue.

Step, Maddie kissing me and laughing. I step again, and remember how fearful her eyes were when she told me the news that brought us Hannah. Her pregnancy. I eventually arrive at the top of the stairs, and all I know is that I'm letting my thoughts consume me yet again.

I lean against the wall for a second. I honestly don't know what's happening to me. It's scary, actually. I still haven't quite come to terms with a couple of things in my life- I am under attack again, and Hannah is already one. I sigh, pushing myself off of the wall, and walk over to their door.