fearless

Chapter 11: Fighting Fear

Chapter 11:

I wake to shouting. "I'm gonna fucking kill myself if I lose this mother fucking fight today!" Ashton yells as he walks over to Hunter's bed. Hunter nods.

"Hell yeah, man. I'm probably gonna get beat up and be stuck in the infirmary for a week." He says, and I narrow my eyes as I rub a hand over my bruised face. He cringes when he sees how I'm looking at him. "Sorry, Mads."

I roll my eyes, then take my hair out of the braided bun that it was in from yesterday. My hair falls into waves whenever I take it out, and I pull it back into a ponytail. Fights today. I sigh as I pull up my shirt the slightest bit and see that my bruises are still there, but they're just a light brown now.

I walk back out and and grab my clothes for today and change into them. I yawn as I walk back out into the dormitory after brushing my teeth, then walk out to the Dining Hall.

I find myself walking through the Chasm corridor, and looking down at the bridge, my eyes wide. I stabbed Hunter on this bridge. It doesn't matter if it was just in my mind. I killed my brother inside my mind because he tried to kill me.

My Divergence gave me a knife to use, and my grip was slipping. The last resort was to throw the knife at him and I did it. I did it without thinking. I rub my eyes and continue walking to the Dining Hall, trying to forget about everything that's happening to me. I eventually push on the door to the Dining Hall and step inside. I sit down next to Ashton, who somehow ended up beating me here. I haven't spoken to Steven in a few days, though, which I find a little odd. Last time I checked, he wanted me to date him, but that was a few days ago. I don't know anymore.

"I fucking hate my life." I say as I take a bite of my muffin. I probably look like a total piece of shit—my leggings and my black t-shirt, my combat boots and my naked face, no makeup, just bruises.

"Me too." He says, and then I feel someone tap on my shoulder.

I turn and see Angela in worn out clothes, the same ones that the factionless wear. I gasp and cower back from her. "Look, Maddie, I'm so—" She says and I stand up.

"Save it." I say to her, looking down on her because she's shorter than me. "I hate you. If you ever come near me again, ever," I say loudly, and I notice that people are staring, but I don't care. My eyes are filled with tears, fuck it. "I'll kill you. You're a fucking coward. Stay away from me." I say, tears pouring down my cheeks, and she just stands there as she stares into the distance.

I sit down beside Ashton and look back up at her. "Go!" I shout, and she covers her face as she leaves. People are staring at me, and it makes my stomach wrench. I cry my eyes out, then fall into Ashton's shoulder. He hugs me, and I'm glad that he's just here for me right now.

Now, for some reason, I feel safer than I did before, but the funny thing is, I don't know why.

>>

I stand in the training room, my eyes puffy from crying. All of the initiates murmur things about me when I walk in with Ashton, and I almost start crying again. Some people, my friends, ask what happened in the Dining Hall. Others tell me off because Angela was their friend and now I'm a bitch.

I cower back in the corner until I look at the board with the matches on it.

Ashton v. Hunter
Olivia v. Ariana
Abby v. Jordan
Maddie v. Steven