fearless

Chapter 81: On My Mind

On My Mind- Ellie Goulding
Ty

I sit down, letting the sound of icy waves crashing against the hard rocks surround me. I needed to think, so I decided to come here- the chasm- at two in the morning.

Maddie is back at the house, sound asleep. I couldn't even fall asleep due to the fact that my father's words are still echoing in my mind.

Stay Hidden. Stay undetected.

I shouldn't have to live my life this way- I should be able to walk freely, without having to look behind me to make sure I'm safe.

I then think about how I'm going to tell Maddie. She needs to know, she needs to know that we're under attack, again. I sigh, leaning back into the rock behind me.

I'll tell her sometime later this afternoon. I can't do it early in the morning. She'll get mad if I do that. I feel a chill slip down my spine as I look around, feeling the spray of the waves against my toes.

I pull my hood over my head, and look up at the night sky through the sky roof. The stars shine brightly and twinkle in the indigo blue sky. In a sense, the night sky reminds me of Maddie.

She's beautiful, She's brave, and she shines. I don't know how the second one fits into the analogy to the stars, but it fits Maddie.

I let another sigh slip past my lips. I honestly don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. It's not depression, it's not rage, it's not greed. I just feel like a complete and utter basket case. I've got mixed emotions right now.

I feel like I did when Maddie was kidnapped; when we fight; It's like my emotions are in a box and they've been shaken up and thrown out- confusing.

I push myself to my feet, feeling and hearing my knees pop as I do so. I grimace, and lean back against the wall. I stuff my hands in my hoodie pocket and take a deep breath in.

I need to go back home- I'm letting my thoughts consume me, it's not doing any good, like I thought it would. I push myself off of the wall, and turn to walk down the path of the chasm.

I kick a pebble over the side of the carved path edge every now and then, dismissing my boredom. The paths quickly become steeper as I climb my way up to ground level, then up eight more levels to our apartment.

I cross the chasm bridge, and grip the railing, seeing a vision of Maddie from years ago. I don't know what brings it into my mind, but it appears, none the less.

"Ty," she sighs, sitting down next to me on one of the pit paths. It pleases me to be able to call her my girlfriend, and hopefully someday she'll be my wife.

"Yes?" I look up at her as she sits down, before she is eye-level with me. She leans her body against my shoulder, and I feel her breathe against my side.

I feel myself being jerked up suddenly as she grabs my hand. "C'mon." She smiles up at me, racing down the path, pulling me to follow her.

"What? Where are we going?" I ask her, and she only pulls me close to kiss me. She grips me by my shirt collar, and I can feel my lips tingling as she inches closer to me.

"Somewhere, Ty. Somewhere." She smiles up at me as she pulls away, and drags me along with her, up the paths- to her apartment.