Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

The End

That was the end of our story.

In retrospect, i made a very foolish decision. my daydream had turned into a nightmare and instead of trying to fix it i let it go. 

It was an april evening. the world outside was dancing in a late april shower. rain pattered on my windows. the greyness of the sky perfectly mirrored the blue and grey inside me.

I took a deep breath and called him before i ran out of courage.

every ring felt like torture to me. but the real pain started when he picked up. my heart was screaming. begging me for mercy. but i knew it had to be done.

"hi" i said awkwardly.

"are you okay?" he picked up my nervousness quickly. he knew me too well.

"i am alright." i lied.

"what did you want to talk about?" his voice was soft. almost nostalgic. as if he could feel the end coming closer too.

"i - Jeonghan" i fiddled with words unsure how to convey my thoughts in coherent sentences.

"arin" he called me softly. "just say it"

i didn't even know i was crying until a tear trickled down to my lips leaving a salty taste in my mouth.

"it's getting really hard." i was sobbing by this time.

my heart was hurting so much. emotionally and physically and the lump in my throat made it difficult to get words out or even to breathe.

"i feel exhausted. i have been trying really hard to understand you and be more mature. but i can't anymore. i know i am being immature but-"

"you aren't immature." he interrupted.

i took a deep breath.

"i know you have tried your best jeonghan. believe me i did too. i tried to accept that you couldn't give me much time or meet often. or that i can't tell anyone about us. i tried to live with that. but i don't even feel like i have a boyfriend anymore."

i was sure i heard his heart break. i could see my words hurt him like a dagger.

"what did i do wrong? please tell me arin i will fix it." he pleaded.

"you have just been so distant jeonghan. and i know you were busy but it's like you aren't even trying."

"you don't like me anymore?" he was hurt. very much. and i hated that i was the cause.

"that's not what i said jeonghan! i still like you just as much as i used to but it's just not working. not like this. maybe we need different things. you deserve someone who can wait and i deserve someone who doesn't keep me hanging for months."

there was a long silence from the other side.

"are you breaking up with me?" he asked, his voice calm once again.

this was the moment i fucked up.

"yes" i replied.

:O Cookie - jeonghan had not anticipated the break up at all. he hadn't met her for a few months but her birthday was next week and he had planned a surprise date because he wanted to spend the whole day with arin.