The memories along the flower road
They returned back like dust
And say I still love you
..............
i broke up with yoon jeonghan
and i thought it was the end of our story.
i never knew that it was just the beginning and fate had planned more t...
When two people love each other too much, they are bound to fall apart.
like anything, too much love is destructive.
you wait for your lover to call you. you wait to see their face. and even in waiting, you smile. because you trust them to end it.
and when a human has to carry the burden of someone else's happiness, they let each other down eventually. it's the depth of their love that ends up drowning them.
did i get too philosophical there?
it might have something to do with the fact that i am spending too much time alone. and by that i mean away from my work.
but it took that time to realize the obvious.
finding happiness in some one else is beautiful but expecting it from them is terrorizing.
i could never forget that beautiful and frightening night when jeonghan said those words to me.
"but i am just a human arin, i am scared of getting lost in the night. maybe if it was a little bit brighter, i won't find it so hard."
and it made me realize the anti-climatic-absolutely-not-k-drama-worthy fact that loving is in fact, not easy at all.
it can be hard and burdensome. and maybe unconditional love is just like selling your soul to the devil. and that's how we came to this point. there are conditions. and then there's me who has no idea if i can fulfill them.
isn't that great?
tonight is so much like that fateful night.
stars glitter the whole wide sky. wide because the buildings here don't touch the sky like seoul. a thing that i surprisingly like.
every night, i sit on the window sill and stare at the stars. as if demanding them to make sure jeonghan keeps his word. that he waits for me however implausible it may be.
in a way i am still expecting too much of him so i don't.
i don't tell myself that he still loves me. i don't tell myself that i will ever go back. i don't let myself believe that he would still be there if i do go back.
does it work?
absolutely not.
but keeping my expectations low is like a health insurance.
you got into an accident and your bones broke? Congratulations! at least you aren't broke. (terms and conditions apply)
that metaphor did comfort me for a few more days, until i realized self inflicted injuries aren't covered in insurance.
or in other words, going to seoul to meet hara but agreeing to see her in a restaurant i knew jeonghan loves and now sitting there waiting for her and accidentally catching sight of a familiar figure and debating about calling out to him until.. you see a girl holding his hand.
i guess i will end up broke after all.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
A/N:
in another episode of random bursts of inspiration, i present to you a plot twist! (or not)
anyway, this book might mark the end of my 'soft romance' era. (spoiler?)
byeee. going back to the abyss of real life until another random burst of inspiration strikes.
