Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

Confrontation

Present:

"enough! what do you think you are doing?"

"what do you think?" joshua repeated sarcastically.

"calm down" woozi warned as the two eldest ones stared at each other with an intensity that could slice through iron.

"i am tired of y'all acting like you've it all figured out. i know you can't understand what it feels like to be in my position but give me a break!" joshua shouted and even though seungcheol's face was neutral, worry was visible in his eyes. 

"she's hurt can't you see?" he pointed at me with his palm. 

"and who's responsible for that?" scoups replied calmly. but both me and joshua knew he wasn't talking about the injury. he had indirectly reminded joshua that he was the beginning of it all.

"then let me take responsibility." joshua answered without backing down. "let me take care of her." 

"can't you see how jeonghan reacted as soon as you touched her" seungcheol retorted. "will you let our teamwork loosen just for a girl. again?"

just for a girl.

that's what he said.

i wasn't looking for more fights. i felt tired. all i wanted was to be left alone but they had made me the center of conflict. when this is over they will blame me again. because it's always the girl who breaks kingdoms and prompts men to start wars and fight. that's the standard narrative, even if the girl was just minding her business getting sentimental over some snow.

"stop it. you are supposed to shoot heartwarming content up there" i interrupted attempting to remind them what we were there for. i mentally cursed the weather for getting us stranded in the middle of nowhere. even the directors weren't back yet. there was plenty of time for drama.

"of course you only care about that." scoups mumbled without looking at me.

what do i even do? i no longer know what i am expected to act like. it's so frustrating but i feel detached, as if i can't read the room. all i wanted was to seclude myself from the world. but seungcheol was in the mood to talk which meant he would do it honestly no matter how heated it gets.

"and you? what do you care about?" i wasn't planning to speak up but i was done with it. i did a lot of wrong things and i would pay for it anyway but there were things that i didn't do that i was being accused of.

"tell me seungcheol. you promised you won't let your friends hurt me again but when jeonghan suddenly turned cold towards me, you didn't think twice before taking his side."

his eyes had softened a bit with my words. if i ignored the cold look on his face, i could almost glimpse the caring eyes that once belonged to a friend. but our friendship started with a heartbreak and ended with one. 

and it was my heart both times.

"you said i can cry in front of you and you will protect me. and guess what? i cried a lot but you weren't there" i scoffed as my eyes started to tear up. "why is it that when i avoided seungkwan because i literally found a new story about my own breakup, it meant i failed as a friend but when you left me when i needed you the most it was still my fault?"

seungcheol sighed and combed his fingers through his hair harshly, faint particles of snow falling off like glitter from it. he was frustrated and i knew he wasn't the kind who liked getting nasty in arguments but we were getting there nonetheless.

"i wasn't the only one who made promises arin. you did too. i trusted you. i kept secrets from jeonghan just for you and how did you pay back? you -"

"i didn't cheat on him." all eyes were on me now. "whatever happened between me and joshua was long before my relationship with jeonghan. so stop it!"

i said it finally.

but i feared the conversation was far from over. because something happened after as well.

"this is your problem arin. you never accept your mistakes." seungcheol said and his voice had dropped to a lower decibel. "do you have any idea how your habit of hiding your mistakes  affected us?"

what seungcheol said wasn't wrong and i had no hesitation in accepting it. i have already lost everything. there is no relationship left to protect.

when i didn't answer or break eye contact, he looked away, letting out an unamused chuckle in disbelief. 

"jeonghan and joshua are like the pillars of seventeen." he said seriously. "and you broke them."

his tone had turned accusatory again. as if i had hammered down his metaphorical pillars by my own hands. 

"all three of us were thinking of you. acting the way you wanted us to. keeping things from each other because you wanted us to. we followed you blindly and look where it got us? it took a long time to heal and you just had to come back and shake everything up once more."

"i am not an all knowing master mind seungcheol. jeonghan ghosted me for months! i had no idea what was going on."

it looked like it was news to him. he did get mad at me when i broke up with jeonghan but whenever i tried to talk he would just shut me with how i have hurt jeonghan until we stopped talking.

"jeonghan hyung didn't tell her anything, he just distanced himself." dk interjected and everyone was surprised that he was willingly involving himself in drama.

"what do you mean he didn't tell her?" he looked frustrated by the amount of misunderstandings that had piled up. they are the kinds to have clear communication but when it came to me, all three of them kept secrets. my relationship with jeonghan started with secrets, it was bound to get messy. 

"yoon jeonghan!" seungcheol sighed. "he's a pathetic lover"

i was feeling frustrated and so was seungcheol. the tension was suffocating. neither of us wanted to fight but the urge to clear things out was getting stronger and that too in a rather aggressive way.

"now do we talk or you want to keep shouting?" hoshi said sassily arching his brow.

"jeonghan hyung didn't directly call her a cheater anyway. i don't know why you are so adamant about it" seungkwan finally dared to speak up though he looked like he would prefer to stay out of it.

"because i saw everything with my own eyes" mingyu broke his silence.

his confidence made me doubt my own self. is my perception twisted? did i really do something bad?

:o Cookie:

jeonghan felt betrayed when he found that the three people who were closest to him, arin, joshua and scoups were all hiding facts from him for years. he couldn't care less about the fact that he wasn't arin's first choice but it was shocking to know that he was the only honest person in  their relationship.

A/N: 
it might look like scoups is being too harsh but remember he took joshua's place as arin's closest friend (same age unlike seungkwan) and even played match maker between her and jeonghan so he was deeply involved, that's the reason he gets to talk while others just watch the drama and judge (minghao🙄).