Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

Cursed Princess

Everyone looked so happy.

Usually i keep my attention on myself, but after the failed attempt at mingling with my colleagues, i couldn't help but notice the way they all seemed so tight knit. 

observing them like this they didn't seem like bad people. they were cracking jokes, sharing snacks and laughing together like friends. it was clear there was no negativity among them. they were so sweet and kind. then why do they treat me differently?

like always, soojin and i were the only quiet ones. we were sitting beside each other on the bus, separated from the others by an invisible border. 

feeling my heart get heavier, i decided to look outside the window and took out my earphones to block the loud chuckles from entering my ears. 

i would be lying if i said i didn't wish to be a part of it. but then, i also hate socializing so i am not sure. perhaps it's just the boredom making me feel things i shouldn't.

someone tapped my shoulder and i took one of the earphones out, gesturing for her to speak up without sparing a glance.

"should we change buses? the crew on the other bus is really friendly and fun."

soojin's suggestion seemed more like a request. i didn't want to comply because the other bus also had seventeen but maybe that just added another reason to why i should switch buses. when will i able to see jeonghan so up close again?

after what seemed like an endless array of lush green lands and white hills that seemed to be mixing with the sky near the horizon, the bus stopped at a rest stop.

i felt relieved to finally see an ugly grey building after the unfamiliar natural beauty that almost made me dream about living in a wooden cabin in front of a lake with my 3 cats. a stupid dream if you ask me.

i love the polluted air of cities. this fresh air is making me feel dizzy.

i sighed as the fragrance of earth reached my nostrils. i miss the stink of plastic and smoke. 

why am i like this?

anyway, i stepped out of the bus last and intuitively, i scanned the surroundings for him. it wasn't difficult to spot him since that's where most of the crowd and cameras were. i observed for a while and it came to my mind for the first time that jeonghan is completely opposite of me.

everyone loves him whether it is his friends or the staff. the way he is so playful yet so humble seems to attract people towards him. he radiates so much positivity, i don't even need to think too deep to know that i am not like that at all.

as soon as i entered, the amount of people felt overwhelming, especially indoors where the collective presence was suffocating. soojin seemed excited to eat but her feet stayed glued as she waited for me to advance. i searched through the faces wondering which group i should join.

there was one who were all always friendly but i didn't know them much. the other was the breakfast one. and then there were the seniors that i was familiar to but mr. oh's shining head was too repulsive.

since, it was a break, no one was shooting, giving everyone time to relax without any responsibilities. 

"mam! everyone's looking decide quick" 

soojin whispered into my ear and i flinched at the sudden interruption to my train of thought. we were indeed the only ones still standing.

as if i care.

"soojin you can go join whoever you want. i need some fresh air." 

ohh how i love to lie. just kidding, i am just feeling like shutting myself out. 

"are you sure you want to be alone?"

"you are not my friend and don't spend the day with your boss, go to your friends" i said sternly and soojin scratched the back of her neck awkwardly before leaving. i saw her join the group of newbies who welcomed her with bright smiles.

"can i get a burger and a diet coke please"

"sure. just give me a few minutes"

the girl who took my order said as she left to pack it. i stood at the counter, scrolling through my phone to distract myself from the awkwardness of the situation.

a text caught my eye and my heart almost jumped out of my chest because of surprise. 

eunwoo<3

how are you?

i came to know u r in japan with svt

i forgot to change the contact name. 

i stared at the text wondering how to answer. 

fuck off? no.

i am fine? but i am not. and why is he asking anyway? 

me

i am alright

how did u remember me after all these days?

eunwoo<3
i never forgot you
but anyway

i was just worried bcz u r with svt

take care 

me
thanks then

i only care about the show so don't worry

eunwoo<3 
ofc u only care about the show

get a life outside work arin

me
i didn't ask for any advice.
bye.

eunwoo<3
i didn't mean to offend u
sorry
i just want the best for u

i scoffed and placed my phone back into my pocket. i know he is being genuine. eunwoo is too kind for his own good. but it's too late for repairs.

"your order"

"thankyou very much"

i smiled at the girl as i accepted the meal. she looked really sweet and innocent. just the kind of daughter my parents would've wanted. 

holding the tray in my hand, i settled on the steps to the restaurant's garden, leaving the crowded hall behind me. i was staring thoughtlessly at the faint scatters of clouds as i munched on my food when footsteps caught my attention.

can't give me a second of solitude, can they?

i was expecting one of my coworkers as i turned my head around but my eyes widened when i saw who it was.

"hi noona"

:o Cookie: to most of her coworkers, arin seems arrogant and entitled because of her reluctance to communicate outside of work. they think anxiety is just an excuse for her rude behavior. arin being opinionated adds onto their negative image of her. they think they are just responding to her own attitude by being mean. 

A/N: 
i have spent a lot of time eating alone in schools because people thought i was arrogant :) 
i am just introverted and have a rbf 🤡

why is it that no matter how much effort i put, i always hate every chapter i write for this book 😭😭😭