The memories along the flower road
They returned back like dust
And say I still love you
..............
i broke up with yoon jeonghan
and i thought it was the end of our story.
i never knew that it was just the beginning and fate had planned more t...
i stared at her text gasping for air after playing badminton with seungkwan who was blissfully oblivious to the happenings that night.
it's been a month since i called arin. i cancelled the plans we had on weekend on text and told her i was busy. i knew i had to talk to her about everything that had happened but i couldn't get myself to do it. if i see her beautiful face, if i hear her sweet voice, i won't be able to question her. i haven't figured out how to talk about this yet. knowing how arin is, if she finds out i know then she will say that she doesn't deserve me and will try to break up. but i can't let that happen. i can't let her go.
even if she doesn't love me as much as i love her, i just can't let her go.
"what are you thinking about?" seungkwan asked and i turned my phone off immediately.
"nothing" i muttered and he glared at me from the corner of his eyes.
"do i look like dk?"
i couldn't help but laugh as he dissed dokyeom for no reason.
"i met arin yesterday" seungkwan said all of a sudden. i averted my eyes in nervousness. i knew he already suspected that something happened. these days have been so stressful. even though the members don't know what happened, they noticed the tension between shua, me and coups instantly.
"she really misses you. i don't get why you won't meet her."
"i just can't find time."
"you have been playing with me for 2 hours"
i sighed. there was no excuse. i just didn't want to see her until i am over this issue because as furious as i am, i don't want it to affect my relationship with her. if i meet her now, i will ruin everything.
"i just need a break. don't tell her seungkwan, she will escalate the matter even more. you know it."
"are you loosing interest?" he asked cautiously. and i shook my head to deny.
"i love her way too much for that to happen. in fact i want nothing more than to kiss her right now. but i am not in the right condition to approach her."
he nodded in understanding. "just make sure you don't break her heart"
i chuckled sourly.
what about my heart?
scoups and joshua keep talking about arin. and now even seungkwan. did they forget that i need them more?
it pisses me off that both scoups and joshua hid things from me just because arin wanted them to. don't they have a brain of their own or is my girlfriend so charming that they couldn't refuse her?
i wish it's not the second reason but it probably is. arin knows how to make people do things for her. isn't it obvious from the fact that i am afraid of confronting her about her mistake? because i know as soon as things get tense between us, she will find a way to run away from the problems. even if it means running away from me.
the three of us keep fighting whenever we try to talk. scoups is mad at joshua. i am mad at both of them and joshua keeps defending arin which ticks me off more than anything. each time he defends her, it makes me blame her even more out of spite.
i hate what's happening but i can't help it. i can't break up with her and i can't confront her. somehow i have ended up avoiding her. i smiled sadly as i turned my phone on again. i am too scared of losing her to do the right thing.
i am busy these days pls wait for me
- jeonghan
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A/N: this story was chaotic but i will try to write the end well.
