Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

Trust

"ms. song, i have always known you were trouble, but now you have humiliated me in front of everyone."

my eyes were still turned down. i had already explained myself, already told lies about my loyalty, already apologized a hundred times.

now, if he asks me to leave, i can just say 'fuck you' and get fired without regrets.

"i am letting you off the hook only this once."

my head shot up at the unexpected words.

mr. oh chuckled bitterly. "it seems the artists care a lot about you, and they are one of the most popular group right now, i don't want to have bad blood."

i was confused at his words. did they really support me?

perhaps they felt obliged because i was the one who spoke up in their defense first. 

"but no one can save you after this show is over."

i bowed again, not opening my mouth in case i ask him to take his ugly grin out of my view. i can handle whatever happens after. producer kang may still help me even if he has retired.

and i am definitely better at this work than the balding money hungry monster in front of me. 

i sighed as soon as i was out of the room, finally not having to share air with my boss. i kept my gaze at my feet as i walked towards my room, feeling exhausted.

it was already very late and everyone was probably asleep so i didn't care to keep my confidence up. i just let my shoulders stay down and my breath uneven.

"how did it go?"

i jumped slightly at the sudden voice. a soft low voice that i knew very well. i turned around and almost flinched in surprise. 

jeonghan was a lot closer than i had estimated and the first thing i saw were his lips. 

i turned my gaze up to see his face and he didn't seem to be mocking me.

"how did what go?" i asked pretending to be naive.

he sighed and took hold of my wrist.

"w-what are you doing?"

instead of answering, he started dragging me somewhere, without looking back. i struggled to match his pace but he didn't even slow down.

his grip wasn't strong. i could've snatched my hand away. i wanted to stop.

yet..

i didn't. perhaps it was the exhaustion that decreased my decision making capabilities. or perhaps it was just curiosity. 

we were in the backyard of the lodgings, and i could smell the flowers that had just bloomed at midnight. it was dark and silent and i was so confused that i didn't even realized when he stopped and slammed straight into his back.

i stumbled, but jeonghan tightened his grip on my wrist and i was pulled forward with a jerk. i was still comprehending the situation when i ended up landing on his chest.

i gasped and stepped away immediately.

"don't pretend to be shy" jeonghan said and although i couldn't detect any mockery, he definitely wasn't trying to be polite either.

"i am not fond of cuddling with random men" 

"then be glad i am not a random man." he said sarcastically. "there's nothing i haven't seen already."

my eyes widened at the sudden comment. "excuse me what?"

"what?" he asked back innocently. i scoffed and looked away. "why are we here anyway?"

"i just wanted to ask what happened to you" suddenly he sounded serious. "you were in that man's room."

i understood 'that man' to be mr. oh and now the concerned face made sense. 

i smiled reassuringly. "he is bad but not that kind of bad. don't worry."

jeonghan's relief was evident but he neutralized his expression quickly. "you shouldn't have said anything."

"i think you want to say 'thankyou for supporting me generous and kind arin'"

a lopsided smile showed on his face, and for a brief moment, it felt as i was seeing him in the past, back when my jokes still amused him.

what happened then?

why did he stop taking interest in me? why did everything change?

"it seems you still care for me."

"no i don't" i denied instantly. "i just did the right thing."

jeonghan smiled knowingly. "sorry to say, but you aren't kind or generous enough for that. you won't give two shits if it was someone else."

wow.

he really does know me.

"if you are here to compliment me, then i will leave."

i turned around to leave but before i could his sincere voice stopped me. "thank you."

no sarcasm. no humor. 

i turned back to him and arched my brow and he shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, but his smirk couldn't hide the grim feeling behind it.

"thankyou for standing up for me. i trust you" we stared at each other in silence for a few seconds and jeonghan broke the eye contact suddenly. "as- as a director. i trust you as a director." 

"you can trust me." i replied without meeting his eyes. "as .. a director."

and then i left him behind. 

before the pain in my heart could turn into thoughts. and before my rising heartbeat could scream words i don't want to hear.

:o Cookie: at many points in their relationship, jeonghan was told by his members that arin was too toxic for him but he always defended her even when she refused to meet his parents despite jeonghan assuring her that he doesn't care if they like her or not. 

A/N: male sabrina carpenter ✨

jeonghan's hair is a treasure, i am still in denial 😭😭