Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

Act

Past:

the morning 2 days after the incident, i caked up a bunch of makeup, drank a shot and headed to seventeen's dorm. joshua wasn't picking up my calls and i had to talk to him. even if seeing him was the last thing i wanted to do. it would be better to end the conversation as soon as possible. i don't want to carry this guilt for much longer.

i took a deep breath and knocked. i could hear footsteps getting louder and my heartbeat matched the pace. no matter how hard it was, i had to face them. it was a mistake. i can't let it ruin everything for me.

the door opened and i faked a small smile. it was seungcheol who opened the door. i informed seungkwan that i was coming but seungcheol still seemed surprised. maybe he didn't pass on the information to anyone else.

"i didn't expect to see you again so soon." he said as he made way for me to enter. 

"i didn't either." i replied honestly. i had to call in sick at work just so i could come to their dorm.

"why are you wearing this much makeup in the morning?" 

"umm.." i stalled for time because i didn't know how to respond. i wore it so they won't be able to see just how much i cried last night. i was surprised to see my face in the morning because it was puffy and red. i looked sick without makeup.

"i just wanted to look good." 

damn arin that was lame.

"you always look good." 

he circled his arm around my shoulder as we walked to the rooms. it wasn't unusual for him to do so but i was feeling sensitive. i didn't want anyone to touch me.

"jeonghan is in his room" he stopped in front of jeonghan's room. he was about to knock when i stopped him in a haste. 

i can't meet jeonghan alone right now. i might start crying again.

"just ask the guys to come out i bought waffles for breakfast."

"oh .. okay" he was definitely suspicious but he didn't push me any further. 

normally i would trace a beeline to jeonghan's room but i wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes until the matter is fixed.

"then let's go to the living room?" 

i nodded and the way he was squinting his eyes at me made me feel so small. it was as if he could see through my facade. i followed him to the living room and took out the waffles while he invited the others. 

"song arin!" seungkwan came out of nowhere. he looked at the waffles and smirked at me as if to show that he couldn't believe i could serve them so nicely.

"are you trying to become my sister-in-law?" 

he chuckled and i passed a stiff smile. is being good in the kitchen still a condition to be wife material? i would've argued about it but i didn't feel like speaking much.

the guys came one by one and i made chan sit beside me while seungkwan was on my other side. i was glad that jeonghan didn't ask to sit near me. i couldn't see his face and it was much easier to pretend as if everything was normal. joshua didn't leave his room, the news that i am here must have reached him.

"arin why aren't you clinging to jeonghan today?" mingyu asked and i laughed instead of answering. 

"i will take some waffles for joshua" i said as an excuse to meet him. 

"you seem really worried about joshua" mingyu commented but i ignored him again.

i could finally breathe as i stepped into the kitchen, i topped the waffle with some whipped cream and blueberries. i am sure he wasn't eating well and if i am using this as an excuse, i may as well be sincere.

"you fought with shua didn't you?" 

i flinched as jeonghan appeared behind me suddenly. he placed a hand on my waist and the other on the countertop as he leaned forward to see what i was doing.

"i-it's nothing"

"don't worry just talk to him." he poured fruit juice into a glass and placed it on the tray. "i couldn't get him to eat, he seems really upset. but i am sure he won't be able to refuse you"

"yeah" i murmured. 

i watched him as he cleaned the countertop. he seemed so relaxed. doesn't he ever feel insecure? does he trust me so much?

"it will get soggy baby" he said without bothering to look away from the counter. i nodded and quietly made my way to joshua's room. i didn't have much energy left to talk to anyone else. i knocked on his door but he didn't answer.

"joshua? it's me!"

maybe it was the coward in me that wished that he won't open the door but after a few minutes the door opened.

and there was no way to turn back.

:o Cookie:
at some point scoups and arin were really good friends but their connecting point was jeonghan. scoups felt guilty that he couldn't tell jeonghan about joshua and arin's past especially because jeonghan was completely oblivious of it and kept trying to push arin and joshua together for fun. the only reason he still didn't tell jeonghan was because he didn't want to upset arin. so he followed whatever she wanted without a question.