Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

Only home

"what a heartless woman!"

"she is showing her true colors"

the murmurs fainted as i slammed the washroom door shut. i broke down immediately unable to hold my tears anymore. 

it was hurting so fucking much.

the way seungkwan looked so disappointed in me or the way so many of my coworkers seemed unsurprised. they knew it all along.

kindness is not my forte.

my legs gave away as i slid down the cold floor, my hopeless sobs echoing in the ceramic enclosure.

the cold liquid dripping over my bare skin was making me shiver. i wrapped my arms around my frail body desperately, hoping to seek warmth but their was nothing to support me as i cried. 

i cross the boundary. every single time. 

i hurt everyone who comes close. everyone who tries to trust me. 

the fast labored breaths were suffocating me and the more i tried to gasp for air the more difficult it got to breathe. 

the walls seemed to be closing in on me as i struggled with the palpitations of my heart. anxiety gripping me in it's chokehold as panic surged in my veins. the fear of facing the world was blinding my vision and i hooked my nails onto the tiles helplessly.

everyone hates me.

and i just proved i deserved it.

i am exactly the bitch they thought i was.

my shaky sobs reverberated in the narrow room. but an unmistakable knock pulled me out of the daze. i struggled to calm myself down as i wiped my face again and again, trying to hide every streak of weakness that the tears left behind.

"who is it?" i asked hoping it would be just a random woman wishing to relieve her bladder but the voice that answered had not a single ounce of femineity in it.

"it's me. open the door" jeonghan's soft voice answered. 

i froze, momentarily forgetting the anxiety suffocating me, as my mind turned blank. why is he here?

"this is women's bathroom"

"soojin is keeping watch. now open the door." his voice was soft but commanding and i hated how unnegotiable he made it seem.

hearing soojin's name from his mouth made me feel a pang of guilt and even though i didn't want to see anyone at the moment, i conceded and opened the door slowly. 

the thick air was crushing me down and i knew i couldn't stay in this condition for much longer. jeonghan entered the washroom, his gaze turning down on my contracted form on the floor as i hugged my knees. 

"her clothes." i heard soojin's hoarse voice say as she shoved her hand through the narrow opening in the door. 

i guess she didn't want to show me her face and yet she still cared enough to bring me clothes from my luggage.

jeonghan accepted the tee from soojin and closed the door, leaving us alone as i looked up at him with heavy eyes.

he held eye contact as he drew nearer slowly and kneeled down on the floor in front of me. i averted my eyes elsewhere while his discerning gaze read me like an open book.

jeonghan sighed and tilted his head to my level, his fingertips brushing over my skin like feathers as he tucked the unruly hair behind my ear.

my breath hitched as his thumb caressed my cheek, wiping the tears gently.