Dust || Yoon Jeonghan

All My Love

have you heard the phrase "crazy in love" ?

i used to think it meant a fiery and passionate kind of love but that's not where the craziness ends. what's crazier is falling in love so wholly that it encompasses your entire existence. and the feeling of love itself becomes synonymous with the presence of a certain person.

it's crazy. it's vulnerable.

and when it all ends, it's painful too.

christmas, 2 years ago..

"did you use salt instead of sugar?"

"shit did i?"

jeonghan chuckled and i shot him a glare. i sighed and threw the salty cake batter to make new one. fortunately jeonghan tasted it or we would've eaten a really unique cake on christmas.

maybe i should start believing in astrology. because how can my luck be so terrible?

"should i encourage you?"

i squinted my eyes at jeonghan's suspicious little smile. he is probably going to remind me of my previous mistakes to 'motivate' me. 

"what are you gonna do?" 

he smirked and i was expecting something mischievous but jeonghan just tilted his head and smiled sweetly while keeping his eyes on me.

"just enjoy the process, i am thankful no matter the result."

"are you sure?"

"as long as we don't end up in the hospital after eating it."

he must have noticed that i was getting too stressed about the cake. jeonghan always knows what to say.

"thankyou."

"for what?"

"for being yoon jeonghan."

the warm lights were casting a golden glow on us, like a beautiful sunset that makes you look back on the day and feel grateful while also being worried about the future. his soft chuckles felt like a familiar melody that became a part of my own happiness before i realized. my apartment felt like home when he was around. 

i suspect every corner of the world will feel like home when he's there.

"and for loving me despite my flaws"

"ehh! what do you mean?"

i rarely say everything that's on my mind. especially the good things. because it's scary to let someone know just how important they are to me. but i can't hide it anyway.

if my cake isn't sweet then at least my words can be.

"i am sorry for being so hard to love."

"you don't get to decide if it's hard or easy."

jeonghan had stopped joking around. he was leaning on the door frame with a small smile, listening attentively.

"it's not easy for me." i took a deep breath as the sentimentality of the atmosphere accelerated. "i find it hard to express myself and i hurt you a lot because of that. there's a lot of things ... that are wrong with me. but i am trying my best."

i smiled despite the glimmering film of tears on my eyes. i just wanted him to know that i am willing to improve for him.

"and i will be okay as long as you are here for me."

"and when i am not there?"

i pouted at his question but jeonghan seemed serious. if he's not there? i don't know and i am not curious either.

"i will kill you if you even think of such things. don't laugh! i am serious!."

i tried to look furious but it became impossible to hold my laughter as flour from the top cabinet fell on jeonghan while he was trying to kiss me.

"this is called instant karma" i teased, sticking out my tongue to provoke him. jeonghan pulled my wrist and circled his hands around my waist to trap me.

"get ready for your karma."

i giggled and closed my eyes. there was nothing to see. all i wanted was to feel the love binding us together despite everything. 

all i wanted was to erase the past and freeze the present. so the only things that remains is a love without secrets and lies.

:o Cookie: 
after their breakup, arin had occupied herself with work to distract herself, unintentionally obstructing her own path to healing.

A/N:
i am tired of writing sad things. it's going to be happy soon i promise. just a few more things left to do :)

this chapter is only here to send the message that the only reason you need to love jeonghan (and stan seventeen) is that he is yoon jeonghan. so no excuses allowed 🥰🔪

it's a sad time in caratland but hold yourself together. let's only send positive energy to jeonghan and the rest of seventeen.

p.s. - i am so happy he won in today's gose (boss) and that too so cleanly. the game was really wholesome and both scoups and jeonghan proved that they aren't just the overcompetitive players people make them out to be. it was truly wonderful. let's hope jeonghan is in the comeback special gose too.