𝙇𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝘽𝙤𝙙𝙮 : ̗̀➛ 𝙙.𝙙

85

Del kissed the top of little Beths head. She loved the newborn smell. The way she slept so peacefully. She was innocence. She was her heart outside of her body.

Only three days til leaving. Del knew she could make things work out there, just her and the baby. The baby was the only one who trusted her, the way she soothed when Del held her made her feel as if she was still important to someone.

She wondered how her mother could have left her behind. How she could have held Kay, Eddie, her and Jake in her arms, feel their soft skin, and leave them with their dad. How their dad could ever think about harming them. She thought a lot about her parents now, about Kay, about Hershel and Beth and Eddie. Now that she was leaving, she wondered how things would have turned out if she could have helped them. Hershel would never treat her as if she was crazy, Eddie would have stuck by her side but... Kay. Kay would believe she was insane, but somehow she still missed her big sister, still missed her big brother. She felt so alone.

She had spent the last four days locked away in the house. Holding her time until it would be just her and Beth. She would miss Jake, hell she would miss everyone, but she now knew her worth, now knew how everyone truly felt about her.

The house was dark. Jake had avoided her, everyone had. Maggie came once in a while, Michonne too, but she was had shooed them away. She hoped Glenn and Maggie kept their mouths shut about her leaving.

The house was dark as she hummed to Beth. Sunlight peeked through the curtains.

Knock, knock.

"Not now, Mags!" She yelled through the door.

"It's not Maggie!" Spencers voice replied. Del furrowed her eyebrows, confused as she threw the front door open. He looked horrible, black eye, busted lip, patched up nose, but he still smirked.

"You look like shit." She eyed him up and down.

"That's your fault, hermit."

She rolled her eyes, going to shut the door before he stuck his foot in it, peeking through the crack.

"You wanna take a walk? Would be good for you to get out of the house."

"You're trouble." She didn't mean it as a joke. He was.

"I promise to not kiss you this time."

...

It felt nice, as much as she hated to admit it, the sun felt nice. She thought the second they found shelter she would never go outside again but the fall sun beat down on her and made baby Beths eyes glow a pretty brown, and it felt nice.

"She's a good baby." Spencer looked down at little Beth in her arms. She already knew this.

"My daddy used to always say he hopes I get cursed with a daughter just like me."

It went quiet for a second as she stepped along the road. She hated that she continuously would glance up to see if anyone was looking, especially Daryl.

"So you and Daryl..?"

Del swallowed the lump in her throat, shrugging.

"It's really none of your business."

"Hey, I kept my distance. I don't want my ass beat again," he chuckled, but she didn't find it funny.

"Me and Daryl... we're two of the same kind. It was never destined." She spoke more for herself. The sickest part was, she hadn't been like him. They had nearly the same childhood, the same struggles, but when Daryl had met her, she still had an innocence to her, still had hope life would work out, now she knew why he was the way he was at the farm. Why he had always been an asshole, because he had every last drop of life sucked away from him. That's what got her the most maybe, was when he was cold and mean she stuck by him, but now it was her turn, and he couldn't take it, he couldn't take himself in another person.

"Everyone's worried about you."

"They shouldn't be."

"I mean... You are acting insane, but for good reason."

She looked over at him, taking his face in. He still had a twinkle in his eyes, his life hadn't been sucked away from him.

"Have you ever seen everyone you care about and love die or lose all hope to live?"

He pursed his lips, shaking his head.

"Then you wouldn't understand what it's like to really act insane."

"I lost my mom."

"So have I. I lost my dad, my real dad. The man who raised me. He... He got his head cut off by a man who..." She thought of the governor, Phillip. She had never told anyone what she had done to him in the tank that day... and she liked it. It brought a primal instinct out of her. She hadn't even known what he had done to Hershel when she killed him, and now... now she smiled when she thought of it. Maybe she had lost her mind.

"I slit his throat." She continued.

He went silent for a second, staring down at his feet. She knew he didn't know what to say.

"We're being watched." Spencer nudged her. She looked up. Her eyes immediately met with Daryls. He sat on the railing of Carols porch, toothpick hanging loosely from his lips. He didn't look away when she looked up. He kept his eyes fixed on her, with that same emotionless stare that drove her insane.

"Yeah..." She broke away from the gaze first.

"You love him, don't you?" Spencer looked down at her. She looked down at Beth, not being able to contain a smile cracking on her face. She thought of the first time she really realized she loved Daryl.

"When we at the prison, when I was reunited with my fiancée, all I could think of was the fact that anything I had lying under the surface for him was never going to be able to happen... and then it did. I love him. He loves me, but god, does he know how to hurt someone like other."

"You really believe that?"

"What?"

"That he loves you?"

She furrowed her eyebrows, but stayed quiet, maybe because she didn't really know the answer anymore.

"Don't be a prick."

"You think any of your people really love you?"

"The hell are you trying to say?" she stopped in her tracks. She felt the anger grown from her stomach to her face. Who the hell was Spencer to question them? To question her?

She said nothing, but he continued.

"I mean, Delilah, ever since Rick came... my mom, my dad, my brother... they are dead. They all look at you as if you're insane-"

She felt herself drop all of Beths weight into one arm as she drew the other back, swiftly slapping him across the face. His face turned, a red mark immediately showing on his face as he clicked his jaw. She held Beth tightly in her loose arm.

"Don't ever speak about my people like that again. And only the people I love get to call me Delilah. Know your boundaries, Spencer."

He chuckled, rubbing the side of his face.

"I'm saying the truth, Del."