𝙇𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝘽𝙤𝙙𝙮 : ̗̀➛ 𝙙.𝙙

93

Del gripped onto Kays shirt tightly, holding her sister against her. She didn't want to let go, the heat of her body made it seem real. She felt Kay slowly wrap her arms around her, squeezing tightly.

"What the hell did you do, Del?" Kay whispered. Del pulled away, shutting the door behind her.

"I... We didn't know it would be this.. Jesus, Kay I thought you were fucking dead-"

"Jake.. Is he.."

"He's alive, he's okay, he's at Alexandria with Beth."

"Beth..." Kay trailed off. Del felt a lump in her throat. She sat down on the bed, ushering Kay to sit too. She just wanted to hold her sister. Kay seemed to be thinking the same as Del, that she was losing her mind. None of it was real.

The took a second, examining each others faces. Kay had strands of grey, more wrinkles. She looked tired, almost dead.

"I had a baby."

"What?" Kay furrowed her eyebrows.

"A daughter. Her name is Beth-"

"Oh Jesus christ, Delilah...what did you do." It wasn't a question. Kay rubbed the bridge of her nose, inhaling deeply.

"We were okay, Kay. We really were. Alexandria was safe, we were getting back to normal, Daryl and I-"

"Oh god, Daryl. Del, do you understand what kind of situation you are in now? You can't leave this place."

Del stared at her, feeling her heart slowly break.

"I haven't seen you in a year and you're bitching at me? Are you kidding-"

"No I just... I don't want to see this life for you, Delilah."

It went quiet. Del pursed her lips, looking at every inch of her sister's face.

"The kids... Annie and Abel-"

"They're alive... They're here with me. We scavenged for months. Hunted, then we ended up here, in this hell hole."

"Kay, I wanted to go after you, I wanted to look for you but-"

"No. I took off on my own. I should have never left.. Jesus Del, I... I thought you were dead."

"You need to know uhm... Glenn... he uhm-"

"I can't think about it now. I just can't... Del, what the hell are you going to do?"

"I'm leaving. I'm finding a way out of here. I'm going to get Daryl out and-"

"Jesus, Delilah. No. Don't you understand? Negan will not ever let you leave alive...You can't worry about Daryl."

Del looked at Kay in confusion, feeling a sickness in her stomach.

"He will kill him, Kay-"

"Then let him. Don't you understand by now? All the shit you got into, everything, it was because of him. You almost died because of him, Delilah-"

"He has saved my life, Kay..."

"How? I mean he got you fucking pregnant.. He Abandoned you at the prison to chase after his fucking brother. I mean... You're going to die doing this, Del."

Del grabbed Kays hands tightly, wanting to just squeeze them.

"Kay, I need you, okay? I need your help. I need you to-"

"No! I won't help you kill yourself, Delilah... He will kill me if you leave, he will know-"

"God, Kay this is the last favor, I promise. I want you to see Jake again, don't you miss us?"

Kay sighed biting on her lip. She shook her head softly before pulling her hands away.

"If you try to leave... I will tell, Del. I won't let you do this, I mean it's a fucking suicide mission. I have Annie and Abel to take care of. Fuck my life, they need me and... I won't let you die just for Dixon."

Del stood, betrayal and anger eating away at her. She just looked at Kay with disgust.

"You.. You are the exact same. You didn't fucking miss us. You don't even care-"

"How could you say that?!" Kay stood, staring at her sister tensely, "I never stopped thinking of you! I thought I was the last one alive. How do you think that made me feel?! Hm?! I thought me, the oldest, outlived all my fucking siblings! I never stopped caring about you! This is for you, Delilah! You don't get it! He will kill you! As in you are gone forever, and not just that, he will kill everyone you fucking love, one by one! I won't let you do that to Jake!"

"Are you fucking kidding?! I kept him alive! He was happy, Kay! He was doing homeschool... He was laughing again! And where the fuck were you?! Hm?! Where were you when he was in those woods back at the farm?! I looked for him every fucking day! I was the one who tried to save Eddie! I saved you! Can't you just give me my credit for that..." Del felt herself shaking, her voice going softer and softer, "Can't you just once say you love me? That I did good? I kept us all alive as long as I could... I mean Jesus christ, Kay."

Kay stared at her, her eyes flickering over Dels face.

"You killed our dad.."

"That isn't it, Kay. You were like this before... You were always such a bitch-"

"Because I did everything, Del! Everything! I mean fuck! I paid for your rehab! I paid for Jakes school shit! I got Eddie his first car! I did that, not you!"

"You enabled dad, Kay. You paid for me because if something happened to me you wouldn't be able to live with yourself... It was out of selfishness... you never cared if I lived or died, you only cared if you had to live with guilt... you think you know so fucking much..." Del shook her head, sitting back on the bed. She looked up at Kay, scoffing. "I mean fuck... Do you even know when my addiction started? Do you know it was because of Eddie..? Do you know I found him dead on the fucking bathroom floor when I was just a teenager and I had to shove my own fingers down his throat? He tried to kill himself, Kay. Do you.... Do you know what dad did to me? When he would come in my room at night, hm? Do you..." She stuttered over her words, feeling herself choke up at tears welled, "Do you know that I almost killed myself? I... I'm drinking again. I don't know if I will ever stop. It wasn't the pills or the booze that made me a bad person, Kay. It wasn't what made Eddie try to kill himself... It wasn't the alcohol that made dad do what he did.. It's because we are who we are. It's not the drinks or pills or anything, it's us. We are what is wrong with us... And yeah I hate you for it because why did the curse skip you? Why.. Why can't you just say i'm.." Del felt a whimper escape her lips. Kay dropped down, grabbing Del in her arms, holding her head in the crook of her neck. All the tears began. Del sobbed, loudly.

"I killed Glenn. I'm the reason he's fucking dead and.. and.."

"Del, stop. Just stop. I love you, okay? I... I just can't help you leave, okay? Please tell me you won't, because I have to tell if you do, okay? Please just say it, even if you're lying."

Del pulled away, her hair sticking to her wet cheeks.

"I... I won't try to leave, Kay," she lied.