Our Small Miracle - Adopted by Taylor Swift

Part 64

A/N: Sorry guys this chapter got really dark really fast.

Harper's pov

I stayed with my mommy all night because I was scared of everyone around me. I felt scared in the new surroundings and I was terrified to go near Ellie, she hit me earlier in the day and now she's reminding me of my old house. My flashback the other night has caused me to feel very unsafe lately so I haven't really been speaking too much. It's easier to stay quiet than it is to express how I feel.

While I washed my hands mommy asked if I knew how to get back to the sitting area. I nodded to let her know that I would be fine and she explained that she wanted to quickly get in some comfier clothes and that I should go back to daddy. That was fine by me, I could handle being alone just for the walk back to the sitting area.

The boat is parked so we're not moving and the sun has already set. The stars and moon look amazing, normally I'm asleep by now unless it's winter so it was cool to be able to see the dark in summer. That means I've been allowed to stay up past my bedtime.

I saw Ellie sitting by daddy and I didn't want to go near her so instead I headed to the edge of the boat. I wanted to look at the moon so I lay down on the slope to stargaze. I saw mommy and daddy laying in the backyard once staring at the moon and stars on a little blanket, I wanted to try that. I didn't expect the little slope to be so slippery but I immediately slid off it.

I remembered that mommy said I could float if I kick my legs so I started to do that. She also said that if I lay on my back with my arms and legs like a star I could also float so I tried to not panic much. I did the thing that mommy taught me but it felt like no one was coming to help me. I could feel myself drifting away from the boat but I couldn't scream. My body doesn't let me after flashbacks.

The water was colder than it was earlier, a lot colder. I could feel my body starting to get colder and colder. That's when I remembered I don't have the floaties anymore. I started to panic, noticing everything getting darker as I drifted further. After what felt like hours I heard yelling and splashes. I recognised mommy and daddy's voices amongst it all and I could hear people swimming closer.

I noticed Ellie grab my hand and I could feel warm tears pouring down my face. She could keep me up so it's okay to panic now. Soon enough mommy got to me and pulled me into her body, letting me completely break. She took me to the edge of the boat where I was handed off to daddy who was ready with a towel. He lifted me out and wrapped me up in one of mommy's towels. They are a lot bigger and fluffier and they completely cover me whereas mine are like little hoodies. They're more fun but in this moment I was grateful for mommy's towel.

He also handed one to mommy and Ellie before sending them to change out of their wet clothes. I felt him cradle me in his arms like a baby but I wanted mommy to hold me instead. She feels warm and safe. I feel safe with daddy but it's not the same, I don't like men as much because men hurt me worse than women.

Mommy came running back really fast and managed to get everyone to back up. I hadn't even noticed that people had crowded around me to see if I was okay. I wasn't thinking, I was too busy thinking about how cold I felt.

Mommy reached out for me and I tried to reach for her but daddy had wrapped me up nicely and tightly in the towel so I couldn't move too much. She gladly took me out of daddy's arms and held me close to her body. Warmth. Not physical warmth but warmth of being safe and comforted. Just what I needed.

I'm very thankful for Ellie, if she didn't find me then I would have died, I wouldn't mind dying. It would take me away from all of the flashbacks and pain. Every day my body still hurts from something, it's like the pain doesn't leave. I'm only 3 so I don't really understand why. The pain is in my heart. My own mommy and daddy did that to me, they made me scared of everyone around me. Scared of pain. Scared of water. I fear everything.

I want to tell Ellie thank you and how much I love her and how she's the best big sister but my body won't let me use my words anymore. My heart and body want me to hide away and cling to Taylor. Taylor is the only way I can be safe. If she's not here then I won't be here anymore. She wasn't there in the water, I thought I would die.

Daddy told me that I will burn in hell my whole life but mommy, Taylor, says that I'm going to be a beautiful angel and that I deserve the most amazing life before I think about dying. I ask her about it often. If i'm going to be an angel I would rather that happen soon than be on earth. I don't want to be here while daddy is still here. Not Travis... my actual daddy.

Taylor sat with me by a fire pit that is on a table, that can't be safe on a boat. I immediately felt the heat against me and it was nice. I couldn't stop shaking but Taylor made it slightly warmer for me. Ellie came over with a wireless hair dryer and some clothes for me to change into so Travis blocked peoples view and Taylor changed me into my ducky onesie. This one is my favorite because I look like a little baby duck when I wear it.. and it has feet on it so my feet stay warm too!

I curled back up in Taylor's lap and Ellie stood drying my hair for me. Travis came over with a nice warm bottle of milk too which made my face light up immediately. I sat up properly and held it with both hands, taking small sips while Ellie dried off my hair, they didn't want me to feel colder from my hair being wet and apparently if I stay in the cool air with wet hair I can get really sick. I don't want that.

Mommy also wrapped me up in so many blankets that I immediately felt nice and cozy warm again. Daddy also stayed close by and gently rubbed my back while I lay against mommy's front. I slowly looked over to Ellie and gave her a little smile. If I can't tell her how I feel I will at least show it. "Do you want to give your big sister a hug since she saved you?" Mommy asked me.

I nodded and stood up on the seat. Mommy held my arm to keep me stabilized then I hugged onto Ellie tightly. She hugged back but picked me up and sat down with me in her lap. "I'm so sorry harper. I've been so horrible to you lately but I don't want to ever lose you. I thought you would be dead and I don't think I could live without you. I love you so much." She told me.

Suddenly I could talk again. I didn't feel like saying much but I knew she needed to hear me talk. She was hurting inside just like I hurt inside. "Love you Ellie." I murmured.

She squeezed me tighter before I reached for my bottle and cuddled back up in mommy's lap. Ellie went and sat beside daddy who hugged her close too. I like when we're all a happy family. These moments make me want to be alive.

A/N

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

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