Our Small Miracle - Adopted by Taylor Swift

Part 48

Taylor slept in late the next day; as desperate as she was to check on Ellie, she needed it. She got herself up, and Andrea thankfully had Harper ready. By the time Taylor headed to the door, Travis had walked in, Ellie following behind. She looked tired and not her best, but she could keep up and wasn't throwing up. Taylor's smile grew as she hugged the teen.

They both got Ellie to the sofa for some rest, and a loud noise came from the music room. "Uh oh." It could be heard, and then Harper was seen running off upstairs. Taylor looked over at Travis. She was curious to know if she wanted him to go and break the news or if she wanted to see the destruction herself. Taylor got up and made her way to the music room, where she found a guitar smashed on the floor, which had once been hung on the wall.

She took a deep breath, her mind torn between the need for discipline and the overwhelming urge to comfort. She knew it could have been worse, but the sight of Harper in the corner, having a minor panic attack and physically shaking out of fear, was too much. Taylor would usually begin a lecture on how it's unacceptable to hide away from something and how Harper should have owned up to it. But at that moment, she couldn't bear to see her baby in that state any longer.

"Oh baby, come here." She whispered, sitting beside the toddler and opening her arms. Harper flinched back and quickly got up rubbing for the front door. Taylor followed the small girl trying to keep up but she was quick and she could hide very easily.

"Don't let her get to the door!" She yelled. Travis quickly got up and scooped up the toddler causing her to panic worse and scream and cry.the small girls breathing quickened and she looked around struggling to take in a breath.

Taylor reached out for the small toddler and took her into her own arms, gently bouncing her and keeping her close. Harper's cries didn't seem to lessen and her breathing didn't slow either. Taylor frowned and looked down at Harper who was trying to get away, begging to not get hit.

Taylor's POV

"Hey, hey, hey, Harper, breathe. No one is going to hurt you. I'm not mad. I just wanted to know what had happened, that's all. Sweetie, breathe please." I told her and she shook her head trying to get away. I just made my way to my room where I placed her down on my bed and knelt down in front of her. I took both of her hands in mine and demonstrated some deep breaths. I could see that she was struggling to follow along.

I gracefully brought both of her hands closer and placed them on my chest taking deep breaths so that she could feel the rise and fall of my chest. It means that she doesn't need to pay as much attention to listening and can zone out to her own world if it helps her. When she started to follow my breaths and nodded, reassuring her that she was going a good job.

I managed to place my hand on her back and gently rub circles on her back without her tensing. She soon leant forward and fell into me. I caught her and held her close to my body, bouncing her a little and whispering reassuring words to her. She soon sat up and rubbed her eyes a little. "Sorry, it wasn't me. I saw it fall." She told her.

"Thank you for telling me. Are you feeling okay? You've been a bit quiet recently and you've been a lot more emotional than you normally are." I asked her and she nodded a little bit. She took a small pause then shook her head.

"Can you tell mommy how you feel?" I asked her and she shrugged. Despite how long she has been with us she still struggles a lot with her anxiety and flashbacks. We have learnt to accept that sometimes she prefers to not talk about it afterwards and to move on. I just nodded and kept her close.

"I will be ready to listen when you are ready to talk." I told her. We give her independence to choose when to explain how she feels. It took a lot of time to understand how to handle her but now we were doing a lot better. After spending time to figure out what works and what doesn't we can now calm panic attacks and tantrums pretty well.

"I just miss you." She whispered. I was so confused, I thought I was spending so much time with her but clearly it wasn't enough. She looked up at me with her bright blue eyes and I pouted a little, I could see the hurt behind those eyes and it was killing me.

"Baby, I've always been here. Is it because I've been spending time with Ellie? Are you feeling a little bit pushed away?" I asked and she nodded. Her eyes filed with fresh tears that he'll down her cheeks within seconds. I chuckled a little and kissed her cheek.

"Awh honey, why don't you say. Do you want to spend some time with me tomorrow? Just me and you and we can do do anything before I leave for my tour on Friday." I asked her and she nodded. I felt her hug me tighter and my heart ached at the pain I had caused her. All of these meltdowns were just because she felt like I hadn't been there. She wanted my attention and was doing anything to get it.

I helped her plan out our day so that she knew I was serious about spending time with her. I was going away for almost two weeks and she was staying at home with Travis. I had Ellie coming with me as she wanted to come and do a few more shows with me. I didn't find it fair to force Harper to travel the whole world with me as it just tries her out so instead Travis and I agreed that they should stay home. I knew she would miss me a lot and I would miss her but I couldn't really cancel the tour just to be at home with them and I didn't want to overdo it for her and make her sick.

I felt her cuddle up to me and sigh constantly. She had slept in my bed but I guess she just wanted that little bit of extra time with me in the day. We had so much going on that I must have pushed her away while Ellie was so sick. I shouldn't have, that's what her parents used to do. Travis and I promised to be better so I knew that I was going to have to make it up to her. I had one day and then I was leaving and the thought of not seeing her for two weeks hurt. I just knew she must be so upset and feeling so ignored inside.

A/N

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