Taylor's pov
After another few minutes of contemplating I quickly jumped up and made my way to Harper's room. Travis tried to stop me but as soon as I mentioned how I felt like I needed to go to her he understood and let me. Her screaming and crying echoed through the hallway as soon as I opened my bedroom door so I immediately ran to her room.
I didn't even open the baby gate, instead I climbed over it and ran over to the side of harpers bed where she was sweating and sobbing. She began to cough and gag due to how worked up she was and her body felt so hot from crying. Her little red nose was pouring with snot and tears were streaming from her puffy red eyes to her bright pink cheeks.
I sat down on the bed next to her and gently rubbed her back to help her through each seemingly painful cough. It was clearly coming from her chest and she whined after each one. When I realized she wasn't calming herself I leant back against the wall and took off Travis T-shirt leaving me in a tiny bra-like top that covers me up when I get too warm. I took off harpers onesie and lay her against me, tummy to tummy.
She continued to sob and cough against me but I carefully brought her head to my chest and held it there. "Shh you're okay, mommy's here. You need to calm down baby you're going to make yourself sick if you carry on. Can you do that for mommy? Can you take some deep breaths with me?" I asked her. She nodded a little and followed my breathing.
I had never really tried skin contact as a way to calm her down before. Of course I give her time to lay with me when we take a bath but other than that I try to avoid it. For some reason I just knew that she needed it at this moment and thankfully it worked well. I looked down and saw her little hand resting on my chest, her pinky finger was gently playing with the strap on my top and I just wanted to squeeze her so tightly.
"Did you have a flashback?" I whispered. She looked up at me, still some tears in her eyes but didn't give me an answer. I carefully rubbed her back and smiled when I realized that she had cooled down a lot. I sat up and reached for her onesie to put it back on her but she shook her head and refused to let go of me.
I tried to pick her up and move her but she started whining and trying. "Okay, okay calm down baby. It's okay. I'm going to bring you to the bathroom and we can wipe up all of this snot and all of these tears because I think there is some on me too then I will lay with you and you can stay like this until you're asleep ok?" I asked her.
She nodded so I carried her into the bathroom. I smiled into our room at Travis and he gave me a thumbs up to show I made the right choice. As I went into the bathroom I placed her on the counter but continued to have my hand against her back so she knew I wasn't leaving her. I grabbed some tissues and wiped the snot and tears off her face before holding some to her nose. "Blow" I instructed.
She followed my instructions then watched me wipe the remaining tears and snot off my chest. As soon as I was done I picked her up and headed to mine and Travis room where I found a pacifier. "I'm gonna lay with her until she's asleep in her bed. I shouldn't be too long." I told Travis who nodded and smiled.
I headed to Harper's room and lay back against the headboard, placing her tummy to tummy again and putting the pacifier in her mouth. I also gave her Billy bear and put a blanket over us both. She was absolutely silent and it was so weird to see. That's how I could tell it was a flashback.
"Harper?" I whispered.
She looked up at me.
"You know I love you so much right?" I asked. She nodded and nuzzled her head closer to me.
"Okay well I want to to believe me when I tell you this. Harper you're safe now baby. And I know it's so scary and you get these flashbacks and you think it's all happening again but you are so so safe. Me and daddy would do anything and I mean anything to protect you. You're safe and you're loved and I hate seeing you like this but this is unfortunately what comes with everything that happened. I know you can't help it but I think we need to get you some help." I told her.
Her little eyes glistened as she looked at me, taking a second to think before nodding. I smiled knowing that it meant she would give the therapist another try. I smiled and brushed through her hair with my fingers. The little pacifier in her mouth slowed down and eventually it tripped out of her mouth and onto me. One of her little hands was gripping to the strap on my top and the other was gently holding onto a chunk of my hair.
I stayed there for a while, taking in the moment before remembering that I wanted to get an early night. That clearly went out of the window. Being extra careful I slowly sat up, still holding her against me before gently laying her down on the bed. I grabbed the little one side and carefully slipped it onto her before picking her up and placing her down on her bed. I tucked her in and gently kissed the top of her head.
Before I stood up I brushed a strand of hair out of her face and looked at her for a moment. She looked so broken and it killed me inside to see her in such a horrible state. I had never seen her at a point where I genuinely thought she would throw up from being so upset. "Mommy is here and I'm not going anywhere. Sweet dreams, precious girl." I whispered as I got up and made my way to the door.
Finally a night of peace for us all. That should be her asleep until the early hours of the morning now. I put Travis' shirt back on before going into our room with a huge smile on my face. I could finally relax knowing she was okay.
A/N
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