His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 79

Luke

I'm a bad person, it's official, I'm the worst out there.
I've officially succeeded in avoiding Adriano for four days straight, after I left my house that evening after Nate had called and asked to come to his and Spade's engagement party, I didn't go back home, Adriano kept calling me, and texting, but I ignored them all, just watching my phone ring while he called away, and when I was sure he was not at my place, I went back home.

I didn't do all this because I wanted to avoid him or anything, I just can't be around anyone, not after being sucked into this uncertainty again.
This, this is why I can't go back to New York, I haven't even gone yet and I'm punishing Adriano like this, he's been calling me nonstop for the past four days but I have ignored his calls, he texts and I don't reply, he came over to my house the other day and I ignored him at the door, I didn't open the door, I felt like shit after he left, but I still ignored his call after that, and when he called my secretary, I told her to tell him that I was in a meeting and I couldn't come to the phone.

I sighed out and shut my eyes, resting my head on the chair, I'm losing my mind, I hate feeling this way, it's like the last couple of months never happened, all the times I spent with Adriano, it's all being sucked out of me, the only thing running through my mind right now, is what I'd do if I actually do go to New York, will I avoid Hewitt?
Even if I want to, I can't.

That's the thing, I'm still in love with him, and I'm scared I'll go back to chasing after him like an idiot, even though I know he can never feel the same way for me.
How can one person have so much control and power over my life?
Yet I can't even get him to like me.

I have the worst luck out there.
I'm in love with Hewitt, but I can't have him, every thought about him is messing with my head, but I can't stop thinking about him.

Even though I caught him with someone else, I still can't find it in me to hate him.
My door suddenly burst open, causing me to spring up as I watched Adriano walk into my office, my secretary hot on his tail
"Sir, I told you, you can't go in like that" she rushed out stopping immediately our eyes met, I looked away from her immediately and my eyes rested on Adriano, his jaw was clenched and there was this impatient angry look in his eyes, it made me swallow hard
"Sir I'm so sorry, I tried...." I cut her off

"It's okay" I muttered out to her, and she gave me a curt nod before she walked out of the office, leaving just Adriano and I.
I couldn't look him in the eyes, it was as if we just met all over again.
I felt fucking guilty for having ignored him the past four days, he did nothing to me, he's not the reason Hewitt rejected me, it's not his fault that I can't even decide between the man that cares about me so much, and the one that sees me as nothing than a one night stand, that's all I'm ever going to be to Hewitt, and as pathetic as it sounds, I can't unlove him for that

"You asked her not to let me in"? He suddenly asked, his voice hard and rough, I'd never heard him speak like this, and in a way, it hurt me, because I know he's suffering, suffering for something he knows nothing about, I licked my lips and looked at him briefly before I looked away from him, I couldn't answer because I may or may not have told her not to let him see me, so I was guilty, I heard him scoff out lowly, I looked at him and he ran his hand through his hair.

His suit jacket was left open at the chest, and he looked a bit ruffled up, but he still looked handsome, even in his semi rough state.
"What's going on"? He asked in a whisper and I clenched my jaw and looked away from him, I didn't want to look into his eyes and see the pain in them
"Luke did I do something wrong"? He asked and I just shook my head, not trusting my voice, I heard him scoff lowly.
"Bullshit, you've been ignoring me for days, you don't pick my calls, you don't reply to my text, and you tell me I didn't do anything wrong"? He rasped out, I bit my lips, still looking away from him, he didn't do anything wrong, this is all me.