His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 94

Luke

It's been three days since my talk with Adriano and my encounter with Hewitt.
I know I'm not supposed to feel bad for snapping at him and asking him to leave my house, but I can't help but feel guilty and bad, because he came all the way down here just to see me, and I didn't even give him a chance to talk to me.

But his timing was really bad, having heard those things from Adriano, I needed space to gather my thoughts and clear my head, not have Hewitt breathing down my neck about his feelings for me and how sorry he is.

I don't want to hear all that now, when I needed to hear them, he said opposite things to me, and now they almost mean nothing to me.
Alicia has been calling me, but I haven't answered any of her calls, I'm surprised she hasn't busted into my house already, asking me why I'm ignoring her.

Right now, I don't know what to do.
I need someone to talk to, but I don't have anyone, Alicia would never understand the reason why Adriano did what he did, she'll blame herself for it, because she made me give him a chance, she'll think it's all her fault, and it's not, she was only trying to help me

I can't exactly call Stefano, since we're not talking, and even if we were, if I told him about this, he'll have a reason to tell me that Hewitt is better than Adriano, because he would never do what Adriano did to me.

I can't call Matteo, because clearly I could tell he didn't like Adriano and he'll just tell me to walk away from him and never look back, and Nate is too nice for me to dump this on him, and Spade, he's probably going to offer to kill Adriano for something like this.

So basically I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and I can't exactly do this on my own, because right now I don't even know what to do.
Should I just forget about what Adriano did and we go back to dating?
Or do I break up with him and remain single, or is this life's way of telling that I belong to Hewitt?
It's all so confusing, all I can really do is just sit and mop around my house, unable to make a choice or a decision

Don't get me wrong, I feel betrayed for what Adriano did, but I can't just break up with him, it's not because I love him, and it's not because I know he's in love with me, it's because I'm not going to lie to myself and say Adriano doesn't make me happy, he does, and I'm afraid if I let him go, I might never find that happiness again.

I already lost it with Stefano, I got another chance with Hewitt and I lost that too, I feel like Adriano is my last and final chance and if I lose it with him, that's it for me.
So I'm trying hard to make it work for us, even if I have to swallow what he did and endure with him.

I heard my door bell and I sighed out before making my way to the door, it's going to be either of three people.
Alicia, Adriano or Hewitt, and right now I don't even think I want to see any of them.
I mean I do want to see Adriano, to work this out with him, even if it ends in us finally breaking up, but as for Hewitt and Alicia, I don't think I'm ready to see them now, Alicia especially, cause she's going to be asking questions, questions I don't want to answer right now.

I turned the door knob and pulled the door open, my jaw immediately clenched when I saw him standing on the other side of the door, his hands tapping lightly on his thighs.
His eyes found mine and he sighed out heavily
"Hey" he whispered out and I gritted my teeth together, looking away from him and out into the streets.

"Hi" I rasped out

"Can I come in"? He asked, and I wanted to just tell him no, and ask him to leave, but I can't run away from him, from this.
I have to face it, we have to talk about it, so instead I just push the door even wider, stepping aside for him to walk in.
He walked in and I closed the door, turning around to face him, he was already looking at me, and he didn't look as confident as I'd gotten used to seeing him, he had his hands shoved into his pants pocket
"Can we talk"? He asked, I narrowed my eyes at him, he didn't let me answer his question before he started talking again "I know you don't want to talk to me, and you don't want to see me, and you asked me to give you space, but...." I cut him off