𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐘 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

61 | Giving You My Heart

Had nothing to prove, 'til you came into my life
Gave me something to lose
✰

Minho hums along to the song that plays lightly on the record player in the corner, it's ironic how safe I felt in here despite the content I was surrounded by.

The red light wasn't something that bothered me like it would to some. I give a small thanks to Changbin for that because when I first started working at the club the pink lighting always left me with a headache but I soon adjusted to it.

I was studying Minho at this moment, it was the first time he had allowed me to accompany him in this state where he developed his recent pictures. Hanging them on the line and the liquid dropped from them slowly, my eyes dance along the subject in them and I swallow harshly at how gruesome many of them were.

My eyes flicker back to Minho, still, I leaned against one of the tables with my arms crossed over my chest. He continued to hum lightly to the old song that played, back facing me now and I wondered how long he had been doing this for.

I pushed off the table and turned around, needing to occupy my time somehow so I continued looking at the wall full of pictures he had told me were the one he liked the most. These weren't gruesome, none of them were.

With his humming in the background, The pictures were of many things, the ones with actual people in them were always in the distance like it was a normal day for Minho and he suddenly spotted a cute couple doing something or a random person doing the most basic things like reading. I never thought much about it but now I can't help but think it's because it was all normal. Minho wanted normal but couldn't have it.

I was about to look away, feeling like this was more private than I had thought but my eyes caught something. A picture. This one was different from the rest, the others were clearly of people he had no tie to but this one was up close. I leaned in more to get a better look but I couldn't, the red light made the picture look more blurry.

My brows push together, "Who's this?" I spoke up, interrupting the music. I don't look away because it taunts me, my stomach twisting.

At my words, Minho stops humming and I feel his presence beside me. With a bit of hesitation, he responds with "My ex"

I don't think I felt jealousy before, not like this. It spread within me like a wildfire, making me sick to stomach at the thought that he possibly was still in love with her. I let out a small scoff, ripping the picture off the wall of her close to the camera smiling widely like she was the happiest girl in the world.

I turn to him and say "The one you supposedly hate?" I toss up onto the table?"

"I do hate her—"

I laugh bitterly and shake my head, "Yeah and I grew up in a real good fucking household" I say sarcastically, "You don't keep someone on your wall of 'things I can actually stand to look at' and tell me you hate her"

Minho looked down at the picture with a pained look on his face, "I almost killed her" He said in a little above a whisper, looking up at me "I hate her so fucking much Ji, I almost killed her"

My face drops in complete confusion, he did tell me she was the devil and that he wouldn't exactly stop me if I tried to kill her but for me, it was a joke. Looking at him now, he wasn't joking.

Minho turns, placing his palms flat onto the table as he looks down at the picture "I didn't realize I still had this up" He tells me, "You know after I realized how cruel she was, all her motives—I didn't give a shit about all things I felt for her or what I thought I felt" He shakes his head and lets out a bitter scoff "I just fucking hated her with all my being" He opens up, never look to me, "But after—after I let her get away, I gave her the benefit of the doubt for some reason. Maybe I thought a part of her that I once knew was still there and that her near death would change her—fuck I still hope that because then I would feel like all her shitty actions were on my hands"

"It's not," I tell him immediately, reassuring him. "If she didn't change then fuck her, she didn't deserve you" I grab his arm gently, making him look at me.

His eyes soften as he stands up and turns to me, "This picture was taken the night I found out she betrayed me, it kept me reminded that love—that caring about someone makes you vulnerable and blind" He spills, "I guess just after time I forgot it was there"

I frown lightly, letting my hand drop from his arm "You loved her?"

Minho shook his head immediately, denying my words "No" He spoke a bit louder this time, making sure I heard his words. "Fuck—god, no" He took a small step back like he hates the thought of me thinking that. "I never loved her, I cared about her and just that fucked me up... yet here I am" He motions to me like I was a problem of his.

"What's that supposed to mean?" My voice hurt, and I crossed my arms over my chest again.

He takes note of my change in demeanor, stepping closer "I don't mean it like that—"

"Then what?!" I yell, "I'm not forcing you to care about me, I never forced you to kidnap me and I never in hell told you to date me!"

"Well, I didn't either!" He yells back, laughing a bit like this was pathetic—like he was pathetic as he shook his head. He motioned around the room "I didn't ask for any of this but Jisung this is how I survived" He told me, "And I sure as hell didn't ask to be completely captivated by a guy I never even met, getting a hotel room just to be close to him, finding the good in kidnapping him for reasons that never lined up!" He yells, "I know i'm completely insane but for some fucking reason I didn't think I was this stupid"

I walk to him, pushing him as I say "Fuck you!"

Minho grabs my wrist and shakes his head, "No Jisung" He says now lightly. Now that I was close I see it now—the tears that brim in his eyes as he says, "I didn't ask for any of it, down to my dad abusing me, but that's life isn't it?" I swallow harshly at his words, "I cared about her, I never loved her yet her doing the shit she did almost ruined me completely... I didn't even love her" He looks me in the eyes and fights his words but still he continues "Yet here I am," He says again, "Completely and insanely in love with you"

I pause, no longer fighting to pull my arms away and just giving in to his strength. He loves me.

He drops my arms and steps away, "Isn't this stupid of me?" He smiles sadly, "Because even though I know all the risk, I trust you—I fucking trust you so much that I'm pathetically giving you my heart" The tears now stain his beautiful cheeks.

I walk up to him now, holding his face in my hands and he closes his eyes like my touch soothes him. "Minho" He opens his eyes and I smile at him, a reassuring one as I admit to him out loud "I love you"

Minho looked over my face, trying to make out if I was telling the truth or if I was just trying to make him feel better. "You love me?"

I nod "I do," I tell him, "I love everything about you, things maybe you don't even love about yourself. I love you"

He sighs with relief and when his lips met mine I felt all the love, but I realized I always have. I think I fell in love with Minho a long time ago. He was the first and only guy I've ever opened up to, the only one I've trusted.

Wrapping his arms around me he starts saying "I" He kisses my lip, "Love" He kisses my cheek, "You" He whispers into my ear before kissing under my ear.

I giggle and pull away, "You love me?" I repeat his words.

Minho smiles and hums, "So fucking much"

I bite my bottom lip and look away and down to the table, where the picture lies, I said "Burn it" I look back to him "Burn the picture" I lean into his neck, licking up his skin and to his ear where I whisper "Replace it with mine as a reminder"

Minho chuckles lowly, "Reminder for what exactly?"

I pull away and look into his eyes, "To always love me" I say to him, "No matter what" Minho showed me his darkness, yet when I look at him all I see is the sun. He brought me back to life and made me realize that I was worth loving.

Minho puts his forehead against mine, "I'm fucked up baby" He says lightly, his brows pulled together.

I pull my head from his and say "I'm here, just me and you" I let him know, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

Just me and you.

*Song rec - Sideline by Phoebe Bridgers *