Nat x Wanda x Yelena One Shots

I hurt her - W.M

Wanda One Shot. Angst.

Third person...

You hurt her. All you did was hurt people.
Your mind only ever filled with negative thoughts. "Maybe I should end it?" You thought.

Natasha noticed you hadn't gotten up from your bed in weeks, only to grab a water or to take a shower and even then you hadn't been taking care of yourself properly.

Wanda didn't come to your room anymore either. Natasha wondered if you and Wanda had gotten into some sort of fight, or if you had broken up.

Her mind mainly went to the second one, all the signs pointed to it.

"Y/n..." she knocked on your door but like the last few weeks, you didn't answer.

She slowly opened the door to see you laying on your bed, eyes sunken as it looked like you hadn't gotten sleep in weeks.

"Y/n... hey... look at me." Natasha tried to coax you to look at her but you wouldn't. Your voice was rough from not talking, and hoarse from crying.

"I hurt her, Nat." You choked out.

"Hurt who? What happened?" Nat asked kneeling next to your bed.

"Wanda... I- I wasn't a good girlfriend. I was always so whiney. I constantly started fights, I wore her out... I hurt her. I constantly hurt her." You admitted.

"I didn't mean to hurt her." You said as your voice broke.

"Did she break up with you?" She asked curiously, you nodded your head.

"Oh, honey." Nat said softly pushing your hair out of your face.

"I didn't deserve her. I wasn't ready to love... b-but I love her." You sobbed finally able to voice all of your emotions out into the open.

"I-I... I should have been better." You choked on your own words.

Nat shook her head.

"You weren't ready to love." She said softly hoping it wasn't harsh. Nat didn't allow herself to deny your claims of hurting Wanda, nor did she add to your anger towards yourself.

"Maybe one day you can try again when she sees you've actually changed... and healed. When you're actually ready to love. Maybe then you won't hurt her like you did this time." She said in a whisper. You hiccuped at the tears continued to pour.

Your heart squeezed in your chest almost feeling as if it might stop.

You hoped it did.

"I-I'll never get another chance... I was too horrible to her." You admitted.

You knew that starting fights, and constantly playing victim would one day cause Wanda to leave you.

You knew over communication was bad. You also knew that constantly needing reassurance was going to wear her down. You knew that calling her over and over again when she didn't answer because your anxiety wouldn't allow you to stop would end up badly.

But you didn't stop.

A part of you wanted to make Wanda hate you, you didn't mean to fall for Wanda when you did nor have her fall for you. But you did.

You wanted to kill yourself, so you did what you did with every other relationship in your life. You pushed.

You pushed and pushed and pushed.
But the other part of you didn't want to let go. So you pulled.

You pushed, and pulled. Pushed, and pulled.
Until Wanda was worn down and finally snapped. She was done.

Mission accomplished. She hates you. You could finally kill yourself as you have no obligation to stay here where you're no longer needed.

But you couldn't get yourself to do it.

That agonizing feeling of hope of the fact that you believe you can change.
That one day you will deserve her love even if not now.

One day you will try again, if you changed for the better and learned to allow yourself to be loved. Properly.

"You're not a bad person." Nat tells you.

"You made bad choices. Do better." She tells you looking you in your eyes.

"If you can't do better for yourself right now, do it for her. Get up for her. Eat for her."

"But she hates me." You sob.

"Because you forced her to see you how you see yourself." She said slowly.

"Now show her to see you... when you love yourself." She explains.

"Do whatever you can to get up, even if that means telling yourself your doing it for her rather than yourself because when you do it for yourself in these moments, you'd much rather stop doing everything. But let her see you change. Let her see that all of this effort is for her. You are not a bad person, y/n." She says again.

"You just think bad thoughts. You don't let people love you. You force others to look at you in a negative light, let us see you better." She says it, it almost feels harsh but you know its not. You nod at her words.

"You don't have to start today, but when you're ready to start. I promise you, one day, after you start you'll realize that maybe you can accept love from people without causing yourself pain too as compensation for feeling happy."

—-
A/N
AHHHHHHHH long time no seeeeeeeeeee huh?!!!!!!

I feel like that one tiktok "hey..... how yall doin......"

Haha... so your gonna hate me. I went to the dark side. Yep. I started a Taylor Swift swiftie account. I already have a book up.
I know im sorry. You hate me im sorry. I do too.

Im working on it.

Im working on healing and being better. This chapter was very personal to me. So be gentle.
But the taylor acc is...

@taylorswiftieslut
Cute huh? Go check it out give me a follow. All the good stuff.
Much love.