When Fire Meets Ice - Completed.

85. P L E A

A H A D

The room smelled of antiseptic and grief.

I placed the clean cloth on the white tiled floor, my fingers trembling as the little action felt like a milestone I was failing to achieve.

I stood. My actions were mechanical from years of practice as I folded my arms in prayer, then bowed before going into the state of prostration.

The state of ultimate surrender.

The state where containing emotions was never possible.

It was like the soul finding a resting place, and feeling safe enough to pour out all emotions, problems, and griefs.

As my forehead touched the ground, my eyes shut. Her face flashed beneath my eyelids.
Ina—smiling, talking and living, while I admired her like my world orbited around her.

It did.

I couldn't form words when tears flowed down my cheeks, rested on the thin cloth, dampening it.

What could I even say?

I wasn't at the position to complain. Because who was I to question destiny? To question the Almighty’s decision?

The only thing I could do was—beg.

Beg for her life. Plead for a life together we had just started living.

My sobs filled the room, stomach trembling as shivers wrecked my body. I wasn't thinking, registering anything as I pressed my forehead harder against the ground, like I was being stubborn, Like I was silently whispering, ‘you will have to give her back to me’.

I lost the track of time as I stayed there. My thighs ached with weakness, tired of bearing this weight I couldn't even imagine facing.

I forced my voice out, nothing more than a broken whisper when I muttered, “Maine kaha tha, ya rabb…” I broke down. “Maine kaha tha ke unko, aur is mohabbat ko mere liye kabhi aazmaish mat ba-banana. Unke s-siwaye kisi bhi cheez se aazma lena. Toh phir kyun? Kyun woh andar hai aur mai yahan sahi salamat hun? Wo dard me hai aur kyun nahi mujhe wo mehsoos hota?”

(I told you... I told you not to ever make her, or this love, a test for me. Test me with anything e-else instead. So then why? Why is she inside there and I’m standing here safe and fine? She is in pain… so w-why don’t I feel it too?)

A choked whimper escaped me, my fingers flexing on the ground. “Khudaara, unki hifazat karna. Mai… maine aapse humesha sab kuch maanga hai, is b-baar zidd hai meri. Aapko unko mere paas lautaana hoga, wo zindagi guzaarne jis…me humne bas qadam rakha tha. Ek aakhirat sath me banane… Ya rabb, aapko sunni hi padhe-gi…” I trailed off into silent cries, My shoulders shaking uncontrollably as my sobs filled the air.

(Please… protect her. I… I have always asked You for everything, but this time it’s a demand of mine. You have to bring h-her back to me—the life we had only just stepped into. To build an afterlife together… Oh Lord, You will have to listen to me this... this time…)

My heart clenched tighter, like warning me of stopping to beat with every passing second.

I mumbled incoherent words I didn't remember. I cried, begged for what felt like hours.

To make it easy for her.

To grant her health, and life.

“Jab Mai ye dard bardaasht nahi k-kar paa raha hun to wo kis… kis haal me hongi? Kaash mai us j-jagah hota, ya rabb, kaash mai unki hifazat kar sakta…”
(When I can’t even bear this pain… what must she be going through? If only I were there instead… Oh Lord, I wish I could have protected her…)