JUST LIKE A BROKEN DOLL (BUT I STILL LOVE YOU)

BISLY 22

In the still of the night, the mahogany door opened with a soft click. "Hey J." Yunho's voice was merely a murmur considering how worn out he'd been but it still echoed in their shared bedroom. "I'm home."

Approaching the bed, he loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He'd removed his jacket and suit earlier in the living room and now he just wanted to lay down comfortably with his Jaejoong. "Sorry I'm a little late... I didn't expect Hana's reception to take this long."

Yunho smiled as he looked at the sleeping man. He bent down and pressed gentle kisses to Jaejoong's pale face; firstly on his forehead then one on each eyes, down to Jaejoong's nose and finally his chapped lips. "Your lips are dry." He remarked regretfully, thumbing Jaejoong's lips carefully and softly.

Sighing, he tossed his shirt and slowly got on the bed. He wrapped his arms around Jaejoong's body and gently moved himself closer to the fast-asleep man. He pressed his mouth to the side of Jaejoong's neck and smiled sadly. "I missed you. I missed you, you know."

He doesn't expect any kind of answer from the resting man but the lack of response does cause his heart to throb a little painfully.

"Hey J, remember when I told you I was afraid to see Hana walk the aisle? It seemed like I was freaking out for no reason." He chuckled dryly. "It's unbelievable. Watching her with Jihoon doesn't hurt me at all... But being with you, like this, hurt." He shut his eyes tightly, trying to contain the trace of sadness but failed.

He should have believed her when she tried to explain.

"She never even had my heart, how can she break it?"

He should have dug deeper into his heart when he was given the chance.

"I guess I was too fixed on my idea of what love should be, huh?"

He should have been brave and responsible when he realized his true feelings.

"I should've just confess everything and spend the rest of my life making you forgive me, shouldn't I? Instead, I cowered and hid behind pretences... All because I was too terrified if you'll reject me if you knew... I can't believe I was worried if you'll break my heart like I break yours." He opened his eyes and let his tears flow. "That was so selfish of me, wasn't it? I don't even want to give you a chance to leave. After everything that happened, I'm still an egoist."

Squeezing Jaejoong's arm just a little, he laughed. He had to find amusement in the saddest of things nowadays. "That's why you're still sulking, right?" He hugged Jaejoong just a little closer to himself, still mindful of the IV drip that accompanied the man all this time. "It's already the 45th days... Aren't you taking too much time to punish me, J? It's not that I'm complaining. I know I deserve this but look at you... You're getting too thin, do you know that?"

As usual, there was no reply from the still body on the bed except for the soft breathing.

"Don't sleep too long, okay."

Tired, Yunho inhaled the humid air and slowly exhaled.

"Good night J... I love you. Thank you."