JUST LIKE A BROKEN DOLL (BUT I STILL LOVE YOU)

BISLY 26

Yunho already knew. He knew... but the depth of Jaejoong's feelings for him never failed to amaze him. After all the pain and the hurt he caused the man, it's an unimaginable fact. How could he still love me so much? Doctor Im insinuated more than once how it's not healthy and such obsession should be brought to a professional's attention but instead of feeling worried or bothered by the subtle suggestion, Yunho instead found himself insulted and angered by her thought. He couldn't see the harm she implied at all. Jaejoong won't hurt me. And he's sure as hell won't ever hurt himself ever again. Because this time, Yunho'll be there for Jaejoong. I'll make sure of his happiness. I'm going to take care of him now. Protect him. Love him even more than he love me. He can worship me if he want... That's fair enough. After all, I'm going to devote my whole life to loving him. But first...

"You can do it J! Just a little more, come on. I'm right here, Love. Right here." He cheered from his position at the end of the long path, eyes fixed on his beloved still gripping the railing about halfway through.

It's a feat even Doctor Im doubted can be achieved so early in the therapy. Nonetheless, his Jaejoong simply said he can do it if Yunho's waiting for him at the other end.

It's a request that Yunho found increasingly harder to fulfill.

To be honest, he's utterly conflicted. He's torn between waiting just like his Jaejoong asked him to do or put an end to this because the man's breathing harder by the seconds and it's obvious how much strain he put on himself from the way he's sweating and frowning with pain. Don't get him wrong. At one side, Yunho's really proud that Jaejoong seemed to be able to challenge himself every day using him as a motivation but at the other side, he's concerned about Jaejoong's resolution. He's aware of his limit, right? Yunho found himself doubting yet again. They've been doing the therapy for almost two weeks now but Yunho still asked himself the same question every single session. My Jaejoong will definitely know when to quit right? Although he can just end their session anytime he want, he doesn't want to make Jaejoong feel like he doesn't trust him to be able to do it. I don't want him to doubt me... Worst, I'm petrified if I will cause him to doubt himself. He wanted to cherish the man and let him blossom, not restrain Jaejoong and cause him to wilt. Still...

"J... Love."

"I can do it, Yunhoyah." Jaejoong put on a wan smile, easily understanding his issue. It's frail but it's real and the sight of it made Yunho ashamed of himself. What's he doing when his Jaejoong's there, trying his best and pushing his limit just to get better quicker? I should've supported him better.

"I'm sorry." He can't help but chuckle when Jaejoong scowled. No more sorry, I forgot. "Okay, okay. My wrong. No more sorry, promise."

Jaejoong glowered. His exhaustion made his anger more palpable. "That's what you always said. Sorry, sorry. Yunhoyah, I- I don't like it... I hate listening to you apologize for everything. My Yunhoyah's not like this... He's not like this."

Yunho sighed. He's fully aware of it. How could he not? He never said the word sorry to anyone before. Of course Jaejoong would notice. Of course it upset him. Anyone would feel the same; like everything only happened due to guilt. I'm so useless. "This time, it's different. I promise."

Jaejoong frowned.

Yunho smiled and opened his arms, waiting. "If you'll come here now, I'll never say that word again. Ever. I promise. For as long as I live."

Jaejoong studied him for a while and Yunho made sure his expression remained the same. If Jaejoong believe in him, he'll make sure he'll deliver no matter what.

"Come on J."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"You'll really never apologize to anyone again?"