JUST LIKE A BROKEN DOLL (BUT I STILL LOVE YOU)

BISLY 25

Amused, Yunho chuckled as he pulled and straightened the shirt down on Jaejoong. "J, why are you looking at me like that again?"

His Jaejoong blinked ever so slowly, looking so adorable Yunho can't help himself. He sighed; already defeated, and placed a kiss on the man's forehead.

Jaejoong giggled. The sound soft but melodic. "This is like a dream."

"Hmm?" Yunho distractedly asked, too focused with his current task to really think about the strange statement. Placing a hand under Jaejoong's knees and another behind his back, Yunho gently moved the man to the wheelchair he always placed near the bed when unused.

"Comfortable?"

"Yes, Yunhoyah, thank you." Obviously, Jaejoong had been steadily improving in the past two days. He could speak longer sentences now and slightly move his limbs but Madam Go had advised them not to exert him too much.

Which of course, translate to Yunho not leaving Jaejoong's side at all much to Madam Go's silent amusement.

"You don't need to thank me everytime, J." He chided without any real malice. Smiling, Yunho kneeled in front of the man and carefully arranged a blanket on the man's lap. He looked up only to see Jaejoong staring at him with that adoring look all over again.

"You're doing it again." He informed quietly, floored with how much love directed at him in that single look. Had he always been looking at me like this? Yunho found himself wondering the same question. All this time? Yunho felt stupid all over again. Was I really that blind?

"You're so good to me, Yunhoyah."

Yunho straightened and went to stand behind him. They're ready for their evening walk. "I should be." He responded as he pushed the wheelchair forward almost effortlessly.

Just yesterday, Jaejoong had demanded the truth from him and he had confessed everything. He'd thought his Jaejoong would blame him for his denial and cowardice acts or at the very least, found him repulsive, but his beloved did none of that. Jaejoong had cried silently as he bared his history and his soul yet it was Yunho who was comforted at the end, not Jaejoong himself. The man had whispered words of forgiveness and love throughout the long morning while Yunho hugged him and cried in abandon.

He never thought he could ever feel that kind of freedom and own so much trust.

Jaejoong pouted and complained yet again. "I should really wake up earlier... Oh. Yunhoyah?"

"Hmm?"

"In my sleep, other than I love you, the words I keep hearing is thank you." Jaejoong was frowning a little as he looked up to stare at Yunho. "Why do you always say that?"

Fully aware of Jaejoong's questioning gaze, Yunho couldn't bring himself to look at the man so he kept his sight focused on their path instead.

"Yunhoyah..." Jaejoong's whisper shook him to his very core. He sound so fragile... So frail. "No more secret, remember?"

He paused just for a while before resuming his task. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Yunho inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Those thank yous... I said them every morning and every night because I was anxious. I was terrified if you'll leave me so everytime I checked and realized you're still not giving up, I just had to thank you. For breathing. For living. You know, for not leaving me."

"Oh Yunhoyah..." Jaejoong started. "You know I'll never leave you. I promised our baby I'll always be with you, didn't I? Make you happy."

Yunho choked at the reminder. I haven't visited baby's grave this month... "I know."

Perhaps sensing his emotional state, Jaejoong quickly changed the topic. "Yunhoyah, how long is your leave?"

Yunho smiled. "For as long as I want it to be. I'm the CEO after all."

Jaejoong gasped and looked up at him with a frown. "You're the CEO?"

Laughing a little at the unexpected reaction, Yunho nodded. "Yes. CEO."

"But Yunhoyah... Is that okay?"

"Hmm?"

"You always said you'll start from below and reached the top on your own... You don't want people to look down on your ability."

Ah, look at this. Indeed, Jaejoong truly understand him. Even Hana was elated when he announced his decision to quit his previous position and assume the CEO title. It was a necessary move but even she failed to realize how much of himself he'd killed when he made that choice. Not that I regret it. Not even a bit.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, J." Yunho replied. "I'd rather be the CEO everyone hated than be the lowly staff nobody respected."

There was once a time Yunho wouldn't give a damn about people's perception. He wouldn't care still if not for Jaejoong.

I was too naive. Nobody would look at him differently just because he started from the bottom. To them, he's still the heir born with a golden spoon and nothing he did would change their opinion of him. He worked harder than anyone else for months just to prove himself. After Jaejoong's miscarriage, he'd obviously performed poorly in a few occasion and also had to take emergency leave to take care of the man but who wouldn't? Who knew they'd badmouthed me but said only good wishes when I'm there? Who knew they'd backstabbed me but pretended to care? Who knew they'd never appreciated my effort to earn their respect?

But the real reason he decided to do it was because he realized the futility of his ego and pride. Why did I even bother about anyone except for Jaejoong? Yunho only needed to prove himself to Jaejoong who deserved his utmost effort and nobody else but him. It's Jaejoong he wanted to be there for. It's Jaejoong he wanted to love and cherish.

Yunho became the CEO because he wanted to have that flexibility for his time and undisputable control for his work.

All for his Jaejoong.

Anything for him.

"Yunhoyah?"

"Huh?" Stopping as they already arrived at the nearby park, Yunho locked the wheels and moved to the front.

Jaejoong was smiling but it's in a way that made Yunho feel guilty. "I think, you're spacing out."

"Sorry, J."

"Sorry... Sorry." Jaejoong sulked biting his lips. "That's all you know to say."

"J..."

"I don't want to hear anything from you anymore." Jaejoong huffed and looked away, pretending to be mad.

Yunho chuckled soundlessly. It's obvious the man's only playing around but he's doing it in a way so delightfully lovable that Yunho couldn't tear his gaze away even if he tried. We'd known each other for more than four years but he's never this carefree in front of me before. "Lovely." As soon as the word left his lips, Jaejoong's cheeks reddened. Yunho smirked and inched closer. Palming Jaejoong's heated cheeks, he gently moved the man's face to look at him. He let out a sound of amused disbelief when Jaejoong closed his eyes tightly. "Hey J, open your eyes... Look at me."

The man adorably shook his head, eyes still tightly bunched together. Yunho chuckled and leaned forward to kiss the tip of his wrinkled nose. As expected, Jaejoong's eyes shot open in shock.

"Yunhoyah! There's children here!"

"So?" Yunho simply said. Without any burden, he moved his face slightly upward and kissed the man's forehead. His lips stayed there for a long while. "I'm just loving you."

Jaejoong puckered his lips and whined loudly. "I think I like the old you better. You're too cheesy now."

Taking pity on the furiously blushing man, Yunho finally distanced himself from him. "You're just saying that."

Jaejoong bit his lips but it was obvious how hard he was trying not to smile. "You're right." All of a sudden, Jaejoong's bright expression dulled a little and Yunho already felt like he can't breathe. "I always envied her, you know. I never even imagined how it'll feel like standing in her place but I'm always... always jealous."

"You know I don't love her that way."

"Now." Jaejoong responded without any emotion. "But back then, she's your world... She's everything you're focused on."

"J..."

"But now, now is different."

"Yes." Yunho agreed easily, kissing Jaejoong's hand lovingly.

"Yunhoyah, do I make you happy?"

Blinking away the sudden urge to cry, Yunho nodded. "Very."

"I'm glad." Jaejoong moved his hand, tracing Yunho's face with delicate touches. "I love you Yunhoyah."

Yunho placed his hand on top of Jaejoong's for support and slightly pressed his face on the man's palm. He loves, god he loves the man so much his heart feel like it's going to burst. "Love you more... I love you more, J. Take care of my heart, will you?"

"Forever."

"Thank you."

Because, if it's Jaejoong, Yunho would believe.

Yunho would risk it all.

His Jaejoong's worth it.

Definitely.