JUST LIKE A BROKEN DOLL (BUT I STILL LOVE YOU)

BISLY 39

Yumho knew this was going to happen. However, he thought Hana would understand. Of all people, he'd hoped that at least Hana would be able to see his reason and give him support. No such luck.

"Hana-"

"Yun! He's still your father! I know you don't care much about him but he's dying! You should at least come home and visit him even just for a while!"

That did it. "You really don't know a thing, do you? Or did you forget after getting your Prince Charming and your own happy ending? That mansion had never been a home to me and will never be." He hissed into the phone angrily. "You, of all people, should've known better. I feel nothing for that old man. So why should I visit? What good would it bring me or him? He's been sick for years. Paralyzed neck down for two years. If God pity him and wish to end his misery soon, well, good for him."

"Yun!"

"Oh. Should I remind you the old man had that stroke because you chose to end our engagement?" Yunho had never wanted to be cruel to her but she'd driven him into a wall and Yunho's not one to back down without a fight. "You're the reason he's like that."

"Yun, I-"

"Let me just tell you this. I'm not you, Hana. I won't have a closure with that man because I don't need any. He wasted his chance, his time, to treat me like a son so don't blame me if I can't treat him like a father. To me, he's like any other stranger. And you know how I deal with strangers." No longer interested to hear her response, Yunho ended the call and immediately turn off his phone.

"Fuck!" He cursed, chest heaving with fury and disappointment. Leaving all electronic devices outside, he entered Jaejoong's room again. Taking long strides to the man's bed, he reached for his beloved's hand and squeezed. "I can't believe she said that, Love... Is it so wrong if I'm like this? If I can't forget? If I can't forgive?"

Of course there was no reply.

"I don't feel anything for my father, J. How could I if he acted like I didn't exist throughout my life? If he never cared? He made me heartless, J. I swear it's him. He made me like this. I really don't care if he died. Am I monster because of that, J? Am I? A monster?"

Jaejoong's heart monitor doesn't show any changes. The beep constant and familiar as always.

Yunho smiled. A little sad but it's a smile nonetheless. "I know you'll understand... You always do. You're the only person who'll love this monster no matter what, right?"

Only the beeping sound answered him again.

"That's why you can't leave me. I'm like this... You know I can't love if it's not you. Even our little Angel, I'm scared I can't if you're not with me. You know that right? Wherever you are, I'll be there with you. And... Wherever you go, I'll follow. You can never leave me. I told you, remember? I choose you. I can only choose you. That's why, you'll come back to me, right? I need you. J, Love, I need you."