JUST LIKE A BROKEN DOLL (BUT I STILL LOVE YOU)

Insecurity

He couldn't stop smiling no matter how hard he tried. Almost bouncing on his steps and slightly swaying the food container, Jaejoong quickly entered the elevator and pushed for Yunho's floor.

It's been too long since they celebrated anything and once he realized today's date, everything sort of clicked. It wasn't hard to convince Leo and Nana to help him with his plan. It was just a short visit to Yunho's office after all. The twins will be asleep for at least another hour and even if they wake up early, Nana will make sure the twins are well taken care of. Jaejoong's not going to take too long anyway.

He'll surprise Yunho, have lunch together and then he'll leave. As simple as that. Leo probably won't even turn off the engine waiting for him.

Still beaming, Jaejoong got off the elevator and turned right only to stop dead on his track.

Yunho was outside his room, standing beside a beautiful lady, his secretary perhaps since her desk is conveniently empty right now, and both were looking at something in his hand with rapt attention. But that wasn't what killed Jaejoong's giddiness and stopped him from approaching them.

It was his smile. He looks so happy...?

Yunho was smiling. It's not right...

His Yunho was smiling. My Yunho doesn't smile easily...

With someone else. He never smile unless he's with me... Or Hana...

Jaejoong lost his grip on the lunchbox he carried and the sound it made finally alerted them of his arrival.

Jaejoong was never a man of violence but the shock playing on Yunho's face as soon as Yunho saw him got him walking forward and without even thinking about it, Jaejoong slapped him right in front of the surprised lady.

You said he love me!

Jaejoong automatically stared at his hand, trembling and pained, before looking at Yunho with glassy eyes. "How... How could you?" He managed to ask right before his tears failed him. Broken hearted, he wiped his eyes angrily as he turned to leave. Despite his condition, he ran.

"Boss! Are you okay?!"

"Shit!"

Jaejoong could still hear them as he punched the button on the elevator, tears leaking out faster the longer he stayed there.

"J! Darling!"

Too bad the elevator didn't close on time because now Jaejoong found himself stuck in the elevator with Yunho.

"J? What are you doing here?"

Jaejoong flinched away from Yunho's touch, pushing his body to the cold wall just to have some distance between them.

"J?"

"You should've told me..." Jaejoong started, hiccupping and looking at anywhere but Yunho. "I told you... I only want you to be happy.

"J? Baby, tell me what's wrong..."

Yunho no longer tried to touch him and Jaejoong's not sure if he's grateful or sad about it.

"We can just be friends... I won't-" He choked. "I- I told you. You can love anyone you want. But you have to tell me. Why-" Saying you love me... Pretending to be happy with me and our twins... "How could you lie like that?"

"J?"

The door opened but before Jaejoong could escape, Yunho stepped in front of him and pushed the button to close the door again.

"You're not leaving until I understand why you're crying and refusing my touch."

"..."

"J? Baby?"

"..."

"Please Darling, explain...? I need to know what I did that upset you so much?"

Yunho inched closer and Jaejoong involuntarily stepped back.

"Jaejoong!"

He automatically whimpered, curling into himself for protection.

"God, Baby, I'm so sorry!" Yunho made to hold him and still frozen with fear, Jaejoong could barely resist the man. "I was just so surprised to see you here - won't it worsen the cut from the surgery? - and I just don't get why you're here just to slap me and you're crying too and I- I can't stand it. Please Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

Sorry for raising your voice or sorry for pretending to be in love with me? "You should've just told me." He brokenly mumbled. "You should've just told me."

"Tell you what J?"

Jaejoong slowly removed himself from the hug, willing himself to look straight at Yunho's eyes. Trying to be strong. He promised, didn't he? He'll always make Yunho happy. Anything, for my Yunho's happiness. And who was he kidding? He always knew Yunho can't possibly love him for real. Yunho was only feeling guilty... And he love his twins... Yunho was just too nice to break his heart again. That's all. "It's okay if you love her."

Yunho frowned.

"She's pretty... And she looked nice too." Jaejoong felt like dying with every words he forced out of his mouth.

"What?"

"Your secretary..."

By now Yunho looked downright offended. "You thought I was cheating on you?"

Jaejoong gasped and he was quick to clarify. "It's not cheating Yunho! You can love anyone you want! We'll always be friends, right? You'll let me stay with the twins right? You-"

"The hell-! Even though we're not married yet, that's my ring you're wearing Jaejoong! I'm yours as much as you're mine. We're going to raise the twins together! I love you!"

"But you looked so happy and you were smiling with her!"

"What?" Yunho suddenly seemed like he's torn between laughing or crying. Jaejoing idly wondered if it's really that ridiculous. "I'm showing her videos of the twins with you!"

Jaejoong stared.

"Oh god. J, Baby, I didn't know why you think I was lying about my feelings but I didn't... I never lied when I told you I care about you. I never need to pretend I love you because I really do. I love you J. I know I messed up before this but I'm trying my best to make you happy... To make our little family happy..."

"I- I-"

"Trust me, J. Please. I love you. Only you."

"You really don't want her?"

"No, J. I only want you. And our babies."

"But she's so beautiful and-"

"And you're perfect for me."

He blushed, heart slowing for he's finally at peace.